Relationships and Friendships and the Work

The problematic nature of engaging in this kind of work with people on the telephone and the internet, and of friendships in the work in relation to the work itself have come to the forefront again over the past month and a half. 

It is crystal clear that too many people have forgotten that the type of inner work we are engaged in is not in the least bit ordinary. 

You have forgotten why we work.  

You have been imagining that you are working and have become too complacent and too comfortable and have fallen back to sleep.

Remembering the aim of our work and the tasks has fallen by the wayside much too often. Having fallen into the trap of the illusion that you are working when you are not, it is impossible to see you have been taken. Once so thoroughly taken only others who are more awake can help you to wake up. This can only happen if you trust. 

How you behave toward others who can help you and your attitudes toward the work itself during this time shows how you value what you've been given so far.
If you are too far gone and can no longer see and believe you know better what tasks and exercises you should or should not do, or believe you know better than your mentors or group leaders at this point, no one can help you. You will fall away from the work until you (literally) return to your senses, if you ever do. If and when you do wish to return to inner work it will be very hard; for some it will be impossible.

Take care, remember what you want, remember why you study and work. 

~ LL, April 2012

This week's reading

This week's task

In Cases of Stubborn Attachment

I’m sure you’ve seen movies where someone has to yell at a beloved animal friend to make it leave for its own good. Sometimes it is necessary to do this with other human beings who have become too attached to us and are stuck in imagination about the relationship.  If they are allowed to remain so emotionally attached they will never get unstuck, they will never grow.

So… after many suggestions, conversations and exhortations about the need for them to expand their horizons, if the resistance to doing so is so great that they are unable to move forward, we take a deep breath, make our faces look ugly and do it. We Act.  Hearts breaking, we put on a great show and shout, “shoo!!!” gesticulating wildly at them. We force them out of their self imposed prisons -  we force them to fly. The heart aches, but there it is, the bare naked truth; it is time for change. The love for these dear ones is not gone from the heart, if anything it is greater than ever. “I wish you all the best." you think. and pray for their safety and well being day and night. And you grin and bear what comes, donning your new masks every time you see them again. Some spit on you, some play monstrous head games, some try to kill you, or destroy you however they can. “One day”, you pray, “one day they will understand.” Is that so? I remind myself.

May you hear with ears and heart that can hear and may you BE Blessed and Blessed and Blessed. Amen, Amen and Amen!
L.

"Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’" HH, Dalai Lama

Teachers and Students

~

'However great the teacher be, he is helpless with the one whose Heart is closed.' ~ Hafiz

~~~

"Initiation by a spiritual teacher means both a trust given by the teacher to the pupil, and a trust given by the pupil to the teacher. And the progress of the one who is initiated depends upon how much he gives himself to the teacher's guidance. One might give only a finger, another even a part of a finger, while a third would give his whole hand. That makes a great difference. A pupil says, 'Well, I will give a certain amount of my time and thought to your guidance, will that be enough?' Then the teacher says, 'Yes, if you think it is enough.' In reality, however, it is never enough. Then one might wonder if one would not be giving up one's own point of view in order to follow someone else's point of view; but actually, if one has a point of view, one never loses it. The point of view that one loses is not one's own. By looking at a thing from another person's point of view, one only enlarges one's own. Then, one has two points of view instead of one. If the thought of the pupil happens to be different from that of the teacher, then by taking the teacher's thought, his own is doubled. The pupil keeps his own point of view just the same, only now he has something for his vision from which to make his choice. The horizon of his thought is expanded. But the pupil who closes himself and says, 'I will guard my point of view or it will escape me,' will never derive any benefit from this attitude."

"The mystical path is the most subtle path to tread. The relationship between teacher and pupil is too subtle for words to express. Besides, the language of a mystical teacher is always elusive; you cannot, so to speak, pin him down as to his words. You cannot ask him to say clearly that something is so and so, or such and such. If a mystic does so, he is not a mystic, for a mystic cannot do this. The mystic may seem to be standing on the earth, but he is flying in the air. The air cannot be made into a rock, nor can the mystic be made into a gross entity. His 'yes' does not mean the same as the 'yes' of another, nor does his 'no' mean the same as the 'no' of others. The language of the mystic is not the language of words; it is the language of meaning. It is the greatest distress for a mystic to have to use the words of everyday language, which are not his words. He cannot express himself in these words. We find the same in the actions of the mystic. His outward actions will not express to everybody the meaning which is behind them, and that meaning may be much more important inwardly than the action is outwardly."

"The teacher, therefore, tests his pupil continually. He tells him and he does not tell him, for everything must come in its right time. Divine knowledge has never been taught in words, nor will it ever be so taught. The work of a mystical teacher is not to teach, but to tune, to tune the pupil so that he may become the instrument of God. For the mystical teacher is not the player of the instrument; he is the tuner. When he has tuned it, he gives it into the hands of the Player whose instrument it is to play. The duty of the mystical teacher is his service as a tuner."

"Dispute with a spiritual teacher is never any good, for the pupil may be speaking one language, while the teacher speaks another; and when there is no common language, then how can the dispute be profitable? Therefore, in the path of mysticism, there is no dispute."
...continue reading

~~~~

There is much more to this chapter written by Hazrat Inayat Khan, in which he discusses the valuation, respect and attitude necessary in the student for a viable relationship with his/her spiritual guide.  No teacher will carry a false student for very long. It is better to ask the student to leave.

False students are thieves, they steal energy, time and more from the teacher and other students and muck up the atmosphere; slowing and sometimes even stopping growth for everyone. Their selfishness affects the Whole world in ways they cannot fathom. 


BE Real
BE Peacable
BE Loving
BEhave
BE

Compassion Exercise

Ray Palmer's initial presentation of his philosophy and teaching, i.e.: the comic book name and having levels where you are given titles [exchanging one illusion for another for a short time for those who do not follow through with more intensive, longer lasting studies], etc. can be a bit off putting for some of the more dogmatic practitioners of "better ways" out there, however, one could, for higher purposes, intentionally take the attitude of  allowing.

In my estimation, whatever succeeds in getting the habitually negative to learn that it is actually possible to shift attitude by intentionally changing a thought pattern and to become positive, and to actually experience the benefits of that internal shift...  is a 'good thing." Yes? It is a glimpse, a taste... verification that it is possible to change... however minute. Glimpses are good!

Yes, yes, Palmer's Avatar method is not the Work. Listen, I am grateful that so many people who have a wish to be better human beings and who have not found the work, have found other ways to get a few steps ahead. Perhaps these ways will lead to the way each was meant to reach.

I know I made a lot of stops on my way to the Gurdjieff work. One path led to the next. The proliferation of all the New New New Age groups that are popping up everywhere now and the hordes of people flocking to recently empty churches, synagogues, mosques and temples are proof positive that humanity is feeling a real need for something higher than the next line of Gucci's now. It is happening now. All those who begin a sincere search, regardless of where they begin -  do help themselves, the planet and God. Every drop helps.

I've chosen to post this particular  'lesson' today because I believe it would be helpful for the earth if as many people as possible to try it during the next couple of  months, whoever you are, wherever you are at whatever level of enlightenment you are.  For those who are new to this kind of inner work, feel free to write in with your observations, and comments.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Honesty with yourself leads to compassion for others." Ray Palmer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Instructions for the Avatar Times Compassion Exercise:"

"This exercise can be done anywhere that people congregate (airports, malls, parks, beaches, etc.). It should be done on strangers, unobtrusively, from some distance. Try to do all five steps on the same person.

Step 1  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for his/her life."

Step 2  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life."

Step 3  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness, and despair."

Step 4  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill his/her needs."

Step 5  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."

OPEN your HEART, OPEN your MIND, LISTEN

BE Compassionate
Be Compassion
BE Love
BE

TOO MUCH TALKING

There's a whole lot of talking going on.
Too  much talking.
They say yes, they say no.

Others concur,
They disagree.

Hugging
Fighting
Hugging
 
Yes, no, yes, no... maybe.

Bargaining.

A whole lot of talking,
In head brains,
In heart brains.
Too much talking.

Does anyone really hear anything?
Do you know what is really meant?

No...

Filters, filters, everywhere,
Nothing is under~stood.

Filters in the brains,
Filters on the Heart,

Brains on automatic pilot.

Can you hear your cells
Whispering deeper down?
There are the roots of desire.

Do you know how to listen?

Somewhere in those unseen places,
In that deep darkness,
Lives the truth of who you were,
Who you really are,

Who you can be.

There, lie the real gems and secrets,
The treasures you yearn for.

If only you could Hear
In purer states of being,
In true honesty.

Perhaps a wiggling free
From the

Ordinary
Mundane
Hamster wheel
existence

You mistake for living

Could begin,

Opening doors to

Freedom from that deadening mechanicality.

If only...


BE at Peace
BE PEACE
BE

Negativity & Emanations

"A person with a strong, active pain-body has a particular emanation that other people perceive as extremely unpleasant. When they meet such a person, some people will immediately want to remove themselves or reduce interaction with him or her to a minimum. They feel repulsed by the person's energy field. Others feel a wave of aggression toward this person, they will be rude or attack  him or her verbally and in some cases, even physically. This means there is something within them that resonates with the other person's pain body. What they react to so strongly is also in them. It is their own pain-body.

Not surprisingly, people with heavy and frequently active pain-bodies often find themselves in conflict situations. Sometimes, of course, they actually provoke them. But at other times, they may not actually do anything. The negativity they emanate is enough to attract hostility and generate conflict. It requires a high degree of Presence to avoid reacting when confronted by someone with such an active pain-body. If you are able to stay present, it sometimes happens that your Presence enables the other person to dis-identify from his or her own pain-body and thus experience the miracle of a sudden awakening. Although the awakening may be short-lived, the awakening process will have become initiated."

Breaking Identification With the Pain Body
Eckhardt Tolle
A New Earth Pages Ch:6: Pg:174

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"From my point of view, he can be called a remarkable man who stands out from those around him by the resourcefulness of his mind, and who knows how to be restrained in the manifestations which proceed from his nature, at the same time conducting himself justly and tolerantly towards the weaknesses of others." ~ G.I. Gurdjieff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gurdjieff exhorts us repeatedly to study (observe) negativity in ourselves by not expressing negative emotions while being organically aware of the sensations in our bodies at the same time. By doing this we bring more of our Presence to the situation we find ourselves in. If we do not allow ourselves to express negative emotions while with others who have a strong pain-body, we begin to see how we are in reality. We all have what Tolle calls pain-bodies - many of them. Some are bigger and louder than others in us. Each of these has a story it tells itself over and over again. Depending on which way the wind blows or what you had for dinner, or whether you got you dollars worth, etc., one or the other of these stands at the forefront of you, pretending to be all of you, and meets the world entrenched in it's own story associating everything to it. It is identified with the story and identifies everything by it's story. It lives in illusion, and allowing it to continue on like that keeps you imprisoned in illusion.

There is an expression, "Fake it til you make it." This can be useful at the beginning, but you can only go so far by "faking it". At some point you must Be what you have been faking or drop the act, come hell or high water. Remember your aim. What do you really want? Who are you? Who do you really wish to Be?


Be at Peace
Be Love
BE

GOSSIP Revisited

I originally posted this topic on 2 September 2009 under the Title: Gossip.

I re-post it today as a reminder that, more often than not, what we say in gossip to our friends and neighbors does permanent harm to everyone concerned.

Gossip is manipulation.
Gossiping damages and halts  your progress and growth.
It can even end your inner work permanently.

Repairing this error is extremely difficult and many do not make it.

Worse yet, this lack of spiritual self control on your part also seriously damages the possibilities for the awakening of those you are gossiping to if they believe  your gossip.

Even if they do not - you have planted negative seeds, which feed their own stories and fears - making their journeys more difficult.

You alienate them from what could save them.

This is especially true when these people are just beginning to know for themselves that they sincerely wish for something higher.

Nothing created in negativity produces anything useful - except very hard lessons (if you can See and Hear) in what comes from intentionally directed negativity for your own selfish ends.


You banish yourself and your listener(s) to illusion.

You are stealing their opportunities to enter into a true spiritual realm of study.

... and giving in to your ego impulses to gossip takes from you what you have worked so hard to earn.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

From the Movie: Doubt  

After being accused of heinous acts, a priest, Father Brendan Flynn, tells the following story to his congregation:

"A man was gossiping with a friend about a man he hardly knew." Father Flynn looks into the eyes of the congregation sitting before him as he speaks, his intense gaze lingering on the faces of his two accusers. "I know none of you have ever done this." People squirm in their seats.

 Father Flynn continues: "That night he had a dream. A great hand appeared over him and pointed a finger down at him. He was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day he went to confession. He got the old parish priest and told him the whole thing."

"Is gossiping a sin?" he asked the old man. "Was that the hand of Almighty God pointing a finger at me? Should I be asking your absolution Father? Father, tell me, have I done something wrong?"

"Yes!", the old priest answered. "Yes! You ignorantly badly brought up man! You've born false witness against your neighbor! You played fast and loose with [her] reputation and you should be heartily ashamed!"


"The man said he was sorry and asked forgiveness."

"Not so fast," said the old priest. "I want you to go home, take a pillow off your bed, take it up to the roof, cut it open with a knife and return here to me."

"So, the man went home, took a pillow off his bed, got a knife from the kitchen, took them up to the roof, and stabbed and cut the pillow open. Then he went back to the priest and told him he'd done what he asked."

"Did you gut the pillow with a knife?" the old priest asked."

"Yes, Father."

"And what was the result?" he asked."

"Feathers." he replied."

"Feathers." the priest repeated nodding his head up and down, yes"

"Feathers everywhere, Father." the man said, not yet getting the point."

The priest then told him: " Now, I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind."

"Well," said the man, "it can't be done, I don't know where they went. They flew all over"

"And that," said the priest, "is GOSSIP!!"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

If you can take this story into your heart with the appropriate attitude, be you the one who gossips or the one who is "innocently" listening to the gossip, or both, live with it for awhile. You will come to truly understand what it means on a higher level through higher consciousness. If you do that sincerely and are honest with yourself before God, you will be freed from that which causes you to gossip. It is difficult, but the Freedom you earn is worth it in the end.

I once heard, when I was a very young gossip fiend, that gossip kills. As I delved deeper and deeper into inner work in the following years, I discovered it was a lawful truth. Gossip kills.

Know that I Love You,

BE At Peace

Do No more Harm to yourself or to others

EVERYTHING IS Sacred

BE

I AM

Going Home

"If you think you're so enlightened go spend a week with your parents." ~ Ram Dass

Gurdjieff taught that ordinary man's thoughts are automatic thoughts [tapes] which  we play over and over in our minds. Eckhardt Tolle calls ordinary thinking "the voices in our heads" and refers to  negative automatic thoughts as "the pain body" or "the story of me". This inner chatter in our brains, these inner stories we tell ourselves automatically, which we call 'thinking',  are triggered by anything and everything. Like leaves on the wind they are blown this way and that and they are constantly running - often without our even noticing what we are thinking.  They are, for the most part, negative thoughts. Whatever you call them, they are habitual, automatic, illusory reactions to the external stimuli in our every day lives, which trigger them. When my mother went off on a tear, nagging the same old tune, we children used to look at each other and joke: "Who put the nickle in?" [the jukebox - Yes, it only cost a nickle at one time long, long ago and far, far away.] We knew it was an habitual rant triggered by something someone had just said or done, or some situation she found herself in. For instance,  whenever we were preparing to visit family she became ridiculously angry. Often we ended up not going at all because she'd worked herself into such a state she had to lie down to rest. Later, when I was in my twenties, I noticed that I did  the same thing.

These ideas about automatic thoughts, behavior and emotions beg the questions: What is real? What are real thinking, feelings and actions? If these thoughts are not me, then who am I? One can begin to find answers through self study. Jesus exhorted: "Know thyself." Why did he say that? What is self study? Does one have to become a priest, a monk, a nun or religious zealot to know oneself? No. One does not. In fact, I believe, as Gurdjieff taught, it is a work best practiced in life. In life, we are exposed to every possible opportunity to observe what we are, as we are at the ordinary level, and in life, we have every possible opportunity to practice countless exercises and methods for transcending the automatic somnambulistic state we usually live in. Today there are innumerable teachers, methods, and organizations that can support one's study. It is important to study with others who have been on a real journey of self study for some time. One can only get so far on one's own.

Two of the most important lessons first taught in real systems of self study are practical lessons, which teach one how to become aware of the sensation of the organic body and how to 'see'  the automatic thoughts. These lessons are taught through instruction in meditation and specific exercises specially designed to help us see these automatic processes in ourselves clearly. Very quickly, serious students are able to verify  that indeed, they are on automatic pilot and living lives in a 'waking' sleep -  which by the way,  makes for very good sheep,  ripe for shearing.  The shearing comes in many guises and forms. One just has to turn the TV sound off and watch the pictures on the screen for about an hour to get an idea of how pervasive this shearing is today. Media, a wonderful technology in and of itself, is used to keep you asleep, hypnotized and enslaved.

During family reunions, each of us played our specific role as laid out from birth - each innocent lambie pie was all primed and ready for the 'shearing' at each event. For my part, after I married and became a mother myself, the entire holiday season automatically kicked off in my mind way before the first gathering in November for Thanksgiving. The internal litany began almost imperceptibly like clockwork at the end of September. By the first of October the internal 'accounts books' [see Nicoll on keeping accounts in Commentaries - Book I] were wide open and out in front of me every day until early March, which is,  as you may notice, way after all the winter holidays are over... and no sooner were they put aside for a short break - out they would come again for Easter. What an amazing internal timekeeper!

The  madness  would begin with mental lists of all the relatives who would be attending gatherings, followed by anxiety and stress about what to cook, what to wear, how I looked, how the house looked, what had I and my husband and son accomplished during the year to make my parents proud since we'd seen them last, and on and on. By 1 November, the associative account keeping was well under way. Each name on the list triggered another thought, which triggered another thought, which triggered another, which triggered another and on and on ad infinitum. By automatic association - grudges, resentments, and old wounds related to each person were  examined, aired out mentally, verbally and emotionally and added to - along with holiday decorations and linens. Last minute Christmas gift buying was  'dealt' with - what a chore it always seemed to be - fraught with anxiety and the need to impress and please.  The lists of gifts that had to be gotten was always accompanied by stomach churning internal and external "litanies" of "why should I have to give anything to this one or that one who did this or that to me or to my son or husband" [who by now were shrugging their shoulders and wondering: "Who put the nickle in?"].  Before I met the Gurdjieff work and began real self study, I tried all the usual recommended methods, means and ways to "get a grip" and to be calmer when around my family. Meditation, breathing exercises, mind control, hypnosis, therapy, and tranquilizers did not help cure this terrible curse over which I had absolutely no power. Without fail, year after year, the automatic processes crippled me emotionally. Poisonous anxiety and negativity oozed through my cells and infected those close to me. I became a card carrying lunatic with a stone heart. There was no real me; I was just a nasty little bundle of angry impatience, resentment, and defensiveness -  a mess that people took for me when it appeared. I did not suffer alone - Everyone else in the family as well as masses of other people on the planet were (and unfortunately still are) in similar, ripe for the shearing, states. We all knew our "roles" and played them perfectly year after year. We were totally unaware that it was all habitual and automatic illusion. We believed that was reality and that was how it had to be. We believed it was real life. More unfortunately it perpetuated ancient rifts in our family, eventually estranging us from one another as adults - in some cases irreparably. Most of us are strangers to one another now I am sad to say.

After I met the work all of that began to change for me, and because it changed for me, it changed, to some extent, for my family. It didn't change immediately, but it did change. It changed because I changed; I learned how to be quiet inside and how to be more discerning and  compassionate. I learned how to sense when the automatic processes began and I learned how to transcend them. Negativity was traded for love, and understanding. I could remember that, above all else, I loved my family - even the ones who enjoyed stepping on my corns and pushed my buttons. I was not perfect but I did get so much better at it every year. "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" became my mantra. I used to (and still do) sing it silently when negativity tries to push in and take over. Sensing my body and breathing were the anchors used to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground.

This doesn't mean one must become a push-over or doormat. Mrs. Lois Bry once said: "Never fear to despise the odious." She was talking about something else at the time, but I found, as with many things that were said to me by the wonderful people I was fortunate to meet and study with in NY, it applied to a myriad of other situations and circumstances on many levels. 

We can go home in the surety that we can be free of the terrible effects habitual negativity. We can be open to love. We can be with our families from an internal place of peaceful intention and share this great  gift with our families and friends by simply Being in peace. We can "conduct [ourselves] justly and tolerantly toward the weaknesses of others" [and our selves] as Mr. Gurdjieff so wisely suggested. We can become remarkable men and women who are living breathing parts of the solution, not parts of the problem. 


Strive to Be Love, Be Happy, Strive to Be Peace

(Brought to you courtesy of Lalo's internal clock :-)*

Where Is God Just Now?

A kastousilia, according to Gurdjieff’s father, is a (seemingly) ordinary exchange between elders for the benefit of pupils. The following exchange took place between Gurdjieff's father and Father Borsh, Dean of Kars Academy, in Gurdjieff’s father’s workshop.  The story is from Chapter II in Meetings With Remarkable Men,written by Gurdjieff. Meetings  is well worth reading again and again – especially for those who may have forgotten the extraordinary nature and value of the relationship between elder/teacher and pupil in any serious study.
                                                                         ~ ~ ~

Father Dean Borsh (as he walks into the workshop unexpectedly asks): Where is God just now?
Father: He is in heaven.
Father Dean Borsh: What is he doing there?
Father (answers most seriously): God is just now in Sari Kamish.
Father Dean Borsh: What is God doing there?
Father: God is making double ladders there and on the tops of them [is] fastening happiness so that individual people and all nations might ascend and descend.

                                                                        ~ ~ ~

Many tend, over the years, to forget Meetings with Remarkable Men and the stories he tells  about his formative years and the extraordinary people he met during that time who had indelible influences on him. Too many people are content to watch the movie without revisiting the book in which the visual distractions of the actors, scenery and costumes are absent - leaving room for you. When you read the stories, there is just you, the story and God – and maybe Mr. Gurdjieff, off smiling somewhere seeing that perhaps he did not waste his breath.

                                                                          ~ ~ ~

Gurdjieff's story reminds me of  Jacob's dream in the book of Genesis (28:11–19)

     Jacob left Beersheba, and went toward Haran. He came to the place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed that there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven; and behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! And behold, the Lord stood above it [or "beside him"] and said, "I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and to your descendants; and your descendants shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south; and by you and your descendants shall all the families of the earth bless themselves. Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done that of which I have spoken to you." Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, "Surely the Lord is in this place; and I did not know it." And he was afraid, and said, "This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven."



Be Calm, Walk Steady In Peace, BE

A Natural Conversation

What I Am In This Moment disturbs you. There is no ordinary ‘entertainment’ for the sleeping man in I Am. As you look at me in horror exclaiming: “What’s wrong? Are you dying? Am I dying?” a giggle rises to my chest.  My heart is tickled by your innocence. Compassion comes for Us.

“Maybe.” I answer, “It’s okay, I AM just breathing in This Moment. Relax Your Self. BE Still. BE In Peace. BE.”

As you Stop to breathe, I See You returning Home.

 Hello

What Is This Forgetting

What is this forgetting

Does true human kindness not exist
Its counterfeit employed only when
It fits the agenda of sleeping man

Kings on Queens, wry faces greet the news
Jacks wriggle in their seats.
As a liars “You lie!” lingers in the air
A last ditch accusation
When told you have to share

“Not fair, not fair!” come the cries
From greedy mouths filled with plenty
As those who are hungry stand by
Shocked, incredulous
Stomachs empty
You were heard, you were seen
The world knows what you are

All the trappings in the world
Are not the proof in your pudding

What is this forgetting

Lip service does not serve
In a dying world of broken hearts
Of starving children
The sick and elderly sleeping in the streets
As you play Monopoly with their lives

Do No Harm, Love Thy Neighbor, BE at Peace

Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother

~ from Transcripts: Meeting 23: Tuesday, 8 February 1944

" Giles: I have little knowledge of myself, especially of my essence. I never know how to be certain of myself. What means of investigation can I use to know if a thing comes from me or not?
Gurdjieff: Now you are philosophising. Necessary begin from something real. Now this is empty for me because you are empty. You did not start on the way of a real man. This is education. Seven factors are absent from your upbringing. I can tell you the first. You are not taught that for you your father is your God. For each man up to a certain age his father must be his God. God loves him who esteems his father. When the father dies, then there is a place where God can enter in. You have not this relationship with your father and your question springs from that. Now take as a task to put down all these factors in yourself which hinder you; establish a real relationship with your father.
Mme Dubeau: But if the father is unworthy - low?
Gurdjieff: Even if he is the worst criminal, if he is merde, the lowest among men, you must recognize your obligation. You don't know why he has become like that. Here is a law. He created you. You owe your existence to him. And he is answerable for your life in another world. If he is lowest of men in the eyes of everyone, let it be so - but inwardly you must feel your obligation. You have to pay him for your existence.
Gilles: But in order to establish a right relationship with someone, one has to be sure of what one is oneself.
Gurdjieff: You divide yourself in two parts. Inwardly you must not identify, outwardly you must play a role. Take all things as your guide. Your task now is to acquire inner freedom. This is the starting point for going further. And for that you have to do what I have told you. What does it mean to play a role? Try to understand it in a broader sense. Do everything that gives him pleasure. If he likes you to sit on his right, sit on his right. If at another moment he prefers the opposite, do it. Subjective role. With each person a different role. You accustom yourself to fulfill obligations. It is one of the aspects of a future free man. Not necessary to philosophise. After, yes. First prepare the ground. The ground has seven aspects. After that you can go as you like. In future, with each man you must play a role; for your egoism. [.....]"

Until the day Lord Pentland suggested the same task to me, I despised my father and my mother. I blamed them for everything that had gone wrong in my life. My father had already passed away and my mother was ill and bedridden. I began visiting my mother once a week after movements class. The class was held early in the morning in Manhattan at the Foundation. I would drive in from Sparkill at 7am, attend class, have breakfast at a diner across the street from Burger Heaven with some classmates and sometimes with Andre, our movements teacher, and then drive out to the Bronx where Mom was living with my older brother.

Mom and I'd had a terrible relationship almost from the time I began to talk. We were like oil and water. This one suggestion from Lord P. was the moving force behind a miraculous reconciliation between my parents and I. What I had not been able to do all my life came so easy through employing the ideas - using the tools given by the system. Mom and I soon became good friends. We were able to talk about those things that had come between us all those years and came to a place of forgiveness and love for each other. We reconciled the past before her death several years later. For this I am eternally grateful.

I also began thinking of my father in a different way. Every time I thought of him, I offered up little conversational prayers to him, and after all this time, I do still think of him almost every day. I thank him for being my dad and for being there for me as much as he could. I apologize for being such a difficult child. I focus on the good times we had - and feel compassion when I remember what he suffered here on earth. He had a very hard life. Both my parents did.

What is offered up to both of them now is a surge of love and gratitude straight from my heart. There is a nice clean light space in my heart now where there was once only darkness and poisonous hatred and resentment. This clean place is where Dad and Mom and others who have passed on live and where we visit from time to time. I write them long letters on the New Year and their birthdays and when I miss them more than usual. It is interesting that I do not remember so much the 'bad' things. It is the good things, the fun times that I remember now.

Be at Peace, Do no harm, Be Still, Be Happy, BE

About the Heart

"There are people who look at life through their brain, their head, and there are others who look at life through their heart. Between these two points of view there is a vast difference; so much difference that something that one person can see on the earth the other sees in heaven, something that one sees as small the other sees as great, of something that one sees as limited the other sees the unlimitedness. These two persons become opposite poles; it is as if one is looking at the sky, the other at the earth. No one will admit that he looks at things with his head; everyone will say, 'I look at life with my heart'. If he knew what it is to look at life from the heart, the best person in the world would say, 'I have not yet learned to look at life from the heart. I would like to know how to do it, I would like to learn it'. One might say that emotional and devotional people are flying in the clouds, while others with their reason and logic are standing on the earth. Yes, it is true...."
~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

continue reading

Listen, BE

Where Does The Impulse to Gossip Come From?

So, what is gossip after all? For the gossiper isn't it: a form of manipulation, a convincing, a way to get what you want, a way to direct traffic in your own life and control others lives, a way to be to be 'better than', etc. And for the listener: a way to be one of the 'in' crowd, a way to be 'in the know', a way to be important, a way to gather 'ammunition', etc. Where does the impulse to gossip or to listen to gossip come from in yourself? Can you see from what part of yourself this gossip thing emerges and grows. Can you hear your 'accounts keeper's' voice; know it is the mischief maker's tool, the power mongers weapon, the cowards way? Do you hear the inner justifications and rationals you tell yourself to make spreading gossip - rumor, lies and innuendo a guiltless act to yourself? Do you see your self calming mechanisms at work? Is it like a morphine drip for those addicted to gossip?

The next time you are about to speak about someone or listen eagerly to someone who is doing so, look inside, observe yourself - where is the impulse coming from? What is the intention? How do you feel? Is there an edgy eagerness there? Is it real or part of the inner scripts? Can you see what your real purposes and intentions are when speaking about another person or entity?

The idea in the work that there are myriads of little "i's" that are not I (all of myself - together at once) is verifiably true, but as so many practitioners of the method seem to think, this reality does not get me off scott free from paying the bills they run up when I am not paying attention - not awake. At some point in your inner work you must step up and begin to be responsible. Paying these big bills keeps you on your toes - attentive more and more often - blaming others for the bills does not. "The devil made me do it" excuse does not work here. You can do something wrong once, not knowing it is wrong; when you finally do have an organic sense that it is wrong and not from that which is higher in you, and do it again knowing it is wrong, then it is a sin. Knowingly sinning in your work with others repeatedly is to muddy the work of everyone and you are responsible for it.

What is your real intention for engaging in this inner study? What do you wish for - truly? This is not an easy method. There is tremendous resistance to seeing how you really are. You must learn everything you can about the mechanism of resistance to seeing in self observation. You must develop the 'muscles' necessary to stand in front of and to get past the resistance to be able to see what you are seeing to the 'roots' of its existence. How close can you live to yourself - not as a judge, jury and abusive jailer - but as a Loving Guardian of your own inner growth. Can you open your heart to yourself, hold your own (essence) hand and keep moving toward transformation?

When you are speaking to someone, observe yourself, anchor your attention in your body and plant your feet on the ground. Observe what is going on inside you when you speak about people. You will gather a great deal of information that will help you to know yourself.

Be at Peace, Be Brave, Do no Harm

Is That So?

"Zen master, Hakuin, was praised by his neighbors as a person who was living a pure life. In a nearby village there lived a beautiful young girl whose parents owned a food store. One day, the girl's parents discovered she was with child. They flew into a rage and demanded she tell them who the father was. At first the embarrassed and humiliated girl would not confess, but after much harassment she named Hakuin. The outraged parents and villagers stormed up the hill to Hakuin's house to confront him. There, they shouted her accusation in foul language and shook their fists at him.

"Is that so?" was all Hakuin replied.

After the child was born the parents brought it to Hakuin saying it was his responsibility to care for it. By this time he had lost his reputation, and had been anathematized by everyone ~ which did not trouble him.

"Is that so?" was all he replied as he took the child in.

Hakuin took very good care of the child, obtaining milk and other necessities from his neighbors.

A year later the mother of the child could not live with her conscience and could no longer go on with the lie. She told her parents that the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fish market. The mother and father were shocked and very embarrassed at all the trouble they had caused the master. They and all the villagers went to Hakuin immediately to tell him the girl had lied and to ask his forgiveness. They apologized at length and asked him to give the child back.

"Is that so?" was all he said as he handed them the child."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my favorite Zen story of all time. The first time I heard it was when it was presented as a skit at a celebration in Sparkill many years ago. The story always comes back to me when I am sorting out the jumble of pros and cons surrounding an issue or problem. The question itself, "Is That So?" and Hakuin, (said to have actually lived at one time), serve as a reminders to listen more deeply and to take up my own post at that neutral place in me where all negotiations are placed on the table and agreements are reached. From that vantage point, no matter what the situation or circumstances, I, as well as I possibly can in each moment, can be more objective and unattached to outcomes. I can act from a higher place in myself for the greater good. If I remember to do this, what is really important is not sacrificed to the mundane and subjective. Perhaps, because of the rarefied atmosphere in which I first heard this story, and the new places in myself I heard it from, whenever I am lost this idea is a simple little beacon that helps me to return Home to my higher self. Now, all these years later, my steps may slow from time to time and I may drag my feet but I am aware of that fact on an organic level and I remember to ask the question of myself: "Is That So?" and to keep moving forward and upward.

Awaken, Be at Peace, Be Happy, Be Well,

Nicoll - On Being

Birdlip, June 4, 1942
III - On Being - (continued)

Part I. - "Everyone who has taken up this Work seriously and reflected upon its meaning, by means of that faculty which we all possess but rarely use - namely, thinking for oneself - should eventually be capable of entering consciously into and understanding the position of others. This is a development of being essential for us in the Work. No one can develop alone. [New] relationship is only possible through the contact of inner worlds. We meet through our inner worlds. To understand another you must enter into his inner world, but this is not possible if you have not entered into your own inner world. The first step therefore towards entering into and understanding the position of another is attained through entering into and understanding the position of oneself and unless that step is taken, to as full a degree as possible, there is little or no possibility of entering into and understanding the position of another person. The entry into oneself begins with self observation and the understanding of oneself comes through long self study in the light of this teaching, whose ultimate aim is the gradual but definite transformation of oneself. For this reason merely to think that one is capable of entering into and understanding the position of another person and even giving help, as one is - and this illusion is very common - is to misunderstand entirely the nature of human contact and the universal difficulties that attend this impulse, which so frequently ends in disaster or some sort of compromise, which - as often as not - is the breeding ground of bitterness, mutual criticism, hostility and even worse emotional states and trains of thought. No one as he is mechanically - that is, as formed by life and its influences can enter into and understand another, and from that, give help, unless he already knows from his own self observation, self study and insight, what is in the other person. Only through self knowledge is knowledge of others practically possible. Only by seeing and knowing and understanding what is in yourself can you see, know and understand what is in another person. One of the greatest evils of human relationship is that people make no attempt to enter into another's position but merely criticize one another without any restraint and do not possess any inner check to this mechanical criticism owing to the absence of any insight into themselves and their own glaring crudities, faults and shortcomings. As a result, not only do they not help each other, but the normal balance of things is upset, and by this I mean that an accumulation of wrong or evil psychic material is formed daily in human relationships and, in fact, in everyone's life, which should never exist if people saw themselves simultaneously, and in this way could neutralize the effects of their conduct day by day. This lack of psychological responsibility, both to oneself and to others, is perhaps especially characteristic of modern times and is perhaps the the source of one part of the widespread modern unhappiness that marks the present age, in which, amongst other things, there is a decline in even ordinary human kindness, with a resulting hardness, which is among the most dangerous factors in regard to the future, and which effectually stops all possibility of the right development of the emotional life."

I end here but this whole chapter is worth reading again and again.

Awaken, Be Good, Be Well, Be Happy, Be at Peace - BE

What Separates Us?

"Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship. It comes between you and yourself, between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature, between you and God. It is this screen of thought that creates the illusion of separateness, the illusion that there is you and a totally separate "other." You then forget the essential fact that, underneath the level of physical appearances and separate forms, you are one with all that is."

Eckhardt Tolle

Two

I
ORDINARY

Day to day
Making time to play
All those lofty ponderings
Put away
Just Being here
With no demand
Being who I AM
Without you, my Beloved Friend.


II
MOURNING DOVE

Hroo, hroo
She sings to me from her tree outside my window.
Hroo, hroo
Pulling at my heart,
Which answers: Hroo, hroo
I have lost my dear ones too



Be Good, Be Happy, Be Well, Be at Peace,
L.

New Arrivals

It's been a while since my last post. I've been busy with some new arrivals at our place - two, six week old kittens and numerous fleas. The kittens, both from the same litter, arrived Sunday before last. They keep odd hours - the favored play time being just when I am going to bed and at five in the morning. I have been very busy kitty proofing the place, which seems to require taking everything apart and putting it back together again. This has been no easy task since the kittens get into everything. To my horror, they both squeezed through a two inch space between the fridge and a cabinet where there is freshly sprinkled bug powder. As soon as they emerged I grabbed them and gave them a very quick wash of from the tops their tiny heads to the tips of their skinny tails and then sat vigil a good part of the night to be sure they hadn't ingested any of the poison. I am also working hard to convince the fleas to leave without using harmful chemicals.

I am a bit surprised at myself. I immediately began talking gibberish at the kittens in a high squeaky voice. I looked up at one point and Todd (who shares the apartment) was standing there looking bemused at the sight. I don't think he's ever seen this side of me.

The kittens haven't got permanent names yet; we're waiting to see who they are. However, I have been calling the boy Rupee from time to time because he gets a funny look on his face that reminds me of my older brother, Rupert, when he is pensive, and I sometimes call the girl Cheeky Boots because she is when I ask her to stop doing something she turns her back to me and ignores the request. They are soooooo funny together.

I haven't laughed this much in a very long time and am very grateful to Todd,for suggesting we get them. They are a very welcome addition to our household.

Peace,
L.