Change

I am packing and in the process of moving for the second time in a year. This time, completely out of the community I have lived in for almost ten years.

I'll be back online, God Willing, in a month or two and am still checking and responding to emails.

Be Well
Be Good
BE Love,

L.

CHANGE

""According to real, exact knowledge, one force, or two forces, can never produce a phenomenon. The presence of a third force is necessary, for it is only with the help of a third force that the first two can produce what may be called a phenomenon, no matter in what sphere." ~ G.I. Gurdjieff

ISOTM Chapter IV

ADRIFT

I am adrift
No oars, no paddle.
Cut off from all outlets for habit
I enjoy exploring what is

You do the same. :-)*

Searching for a New Home: The Search Is Over... For Now

For now, another apartment has been found in another building here in the same complex I've been in for many years. I move next week. I say "for now" because this is a temporary move as I plan to continue to search for the perfect house for myself and for group work.

I'll be paring down quite a bit as I am moving from a 1142sq' space to a 750sq' space on the ground floor. Last night I felt sad. I'll miss the extra space to spread out in and the sunlight that fills every room all day and being on the top floor where I can look out at the birds and squirrels in the trees as they go about their business and scamper about. At the same time, I look forward to being in the new apartment which has a little patio that opens onto a beautifully lush green lawn that runs the entire length of the building. There is nothing else in sight except for a tall fence entirely covered with vines and pink flowers that bloom year round. I seem to remember the scent of Jasmine back there as well. The lawn is very well kept and the building is at the center of the property well away from the main road, so the air will be cleaner and the space much quieter.


Lesson in Limitations # 2million, five:

The 'lessons' never end.. and that's a good thing, otherwise life would be boring. Yesterday I had to climb a flight of stairs with a small hand truck loaded with folded moving boxes. I was pretty much asleep until I arrived home with my new moving boxes and other supplies. Getting the boxes upstairs was going to be a challenge. I had to STOP for a few moments to work out how to load the hand truck and then 'watched' myself do that and then carefully go up the stairs without tumbling down or dropping everything.

I noticed recently, that since I started using a cane I've been feeling a bit embarrassed to be seen using it or hobbling around without it. Faced with the current tasks and the undeniable reality that the only one here to do this was me, all thoughts of embarrassment disappeared. I became interested in how to do it. I kindly gave myself permission to take my time and go slowly and came fully into my body - then moving up the stairs was easy and interesting. One step at a time the left foot lead while the weaker right one waited patiently for its turn to step up. The left leg lifted the body with the support of the cane, enabling the right to move up as well, and when both feet were firmly planted on the next step, I could pull the little hand truck up to the step I just left. Sixteen steps in all.

When I reached the top I smiled and thought , "What a clever girl you are."  realizing I'd just had fun fully using my body with my current physical limitations for the first time.I'm looking forward to packing - which I'd been dreading before.

LOL - climbing steps with a cane and a hand truck loaded with flat packing boxes...a new sort of work movements exercise for the aging and infirm? Yes, actually. The exercise can be called "Limitations"... Ah well... and so it goes my dears. It gives new meaning to, "going to heaven in a hand-basket." No? (Yes, I did say "heaven" not hell)

More tropical rains coming. Happily we won't be in the center of it all this time so perhaps it won't be as bad as last week's downpour.

Off to begin packing - the next test - can I do it all before next Wednesday???

…to be continued

Bee Good,
Be well,
BE

L.

Searching For A New Home

The Universe has pushed and pushed until I finally have to say "Uncle". It is time to move.

There is a serious mold problem in my home due to 72 hours of tropical rains and a severe allergic reaction are making it a must. Being Florida, there always was mold here, but never as dangerous as it is now. The roof leaked during the recent nonstop deluge and now a rather nasty strain has been blown all over the apartment... and me, by the AC. The air ducts have to be removed and replaced, the ceiling has to be gutted and replaced, and roof will have to re surfaced. While all this is going on there is no avoiding the reality that I cannot be here.

The other end of the stick ... I've been wanting to live somewhere else, someplace with a garden...


... TBC

The Work is Alive and Well

"A. You wrote: Yes, it's through NYC and Paris that I was put in touch with the teacher from India.

L) Good... ... ... What is your 'gut' feeling about the experience?

A) I value lineage as well, for the same reasons, except not wholeheartedly.

L) This is wise. Not everyone is what he or she appears to be. One must be patient and extraordinarily discerning - especially in the work these days - but where does that ability come from? This is a problem for most of us. As we mature on the way we get better and better at it (discernment) if we are making sincere efforts. It is a wait [actively] and see process. During that process infinite patience and sincere efforts are required. One has to always be in question about everything, like a clinical scientist. This is good inner work. So, whether the 'teacher/guide' or "foundation" turns out to be a looney or a sham or not you are still ahead of the curve any disappointment can wreak.

My very first guide in the work told me, "You must question everything, even yourself." and "This [work effort] is like trying to jump over your own knees." and "You will try a million, million times." And my beloved movements teacher shouted at me - "Keep moving, L, keep moving." (I had a tendency to give up when things became  difficult).  These seemingly simple cautions served me well while at the foundation and do to this day. 

A) The Fourth Way, from what I understand, isn't supposed to be permanent.

L) I've discovered that many words like "supposed to be"  and "should" shouldn't" don't really serve us well, to me they are red flags. Nor do labels serve us well either, have you noticed how everything has a label or a category? What is the "Fourth Way" anyway I wonder? http://laloblogs.blogspot.com/2010/10/let-dream-go.html. For those not on the actual way it is a label for a set of ideas in the formatory. For those truly on the way there is only the work [the activity - not the word or its definitions] and the work is far more and far beyond Gurdjieff and his teachings. G's method is what Ouspensky referred to as a 'map'. It is a wonderful map but not the destinations themselves. The destinations are inside each of us who sincerely perseveres - no matter what. Together we are a combination of forces - the work or the way on earth - and together we are connected with a higher combination of forces no longer in the earthly physical (except in that these forces are in us and accessible if we learn to be and are open to them). 

A) It [meaning 4th way] comes in and out of history for a purpose, taking on a certain form, and then dying to it and vanishing from sight.

L) I agree, the label "Fourth Way" will disappear from *sight* - but only to those who are not searching. It will always remain visible and accessible to those who wish for it; those who practice the work with those who are now and have been on the way - just as it was for G and his friends and those who found G. When I refer to the way, it is to something higher, beyond "4th Way" theory. Many call the way God; again, a word meant to define what cannot be defined.

 

A) For it [ I hope by "it" he means the teaching] to not degenerate into its opposite would mean that the Foundation has at least some Men #5 at the helm, which I have no clue about.

L) "It" is not soley to be gleaned from the "Foundation" people [another label like the Sarmoung, etc.] Men and women #'s 5 - 7 do exist, a few may be here and there on earth. I often wonder if the Dalai Lama among others, 5th pr 6th - never having met him f2f I do not know. G and Madam are not gone, nor are Jesus, Mohammed, the Buddhas, or the Ghandis or any of the extraordinary guides who have left the physical body. We who seek, are less than drops of water in the Ocean they are; they still exist - a higher combination of forces - which we have access to whenever we sincerely wish for and work to be able to open to the higher.  In my sleep, I doubt this truth; I believe this is a fairy tale, imagination, when I am Awake, I AM joined with that higher energy.  Have you had glimpses of this experience?

Are you keeping up with______. I am finding it very interesting and receive notices when anyone posts there. It is more practical than theoretical - even though the usual suspects respond to posts there as well - not everyone on _____ is playing with a 'full deck" as you may have surmised from all the bickering that goes on. However, a task, any task is an opportunity to work with others and compare notes. Seek out those who have been educated at the source schools but don't believe everything you 'hear' verify everything for yourself through your own studies and efforts. What is real and true will become clear.  

Be well, A

L ......::::::;;;;;;; wanders away to wash the dishes, wondering if her own deck is full today. ;-)*

Let The Dream Go

Let Go
21-Mar-10 LL

Let go those old books written by sages,
and new books written by the blind and forgetful. 
Let go your own crippled notions.
There is no room to carry all that on this leg of the journey.
The pablum fed on in your early years has already been digested.
Leave off regurgitation
lest you become more ill still.
You are not a baby any more.
Toss aside that worry crutch.
Burn the fear!
What is true will remain and what is not will fall away.
Fill yourself with resolve to move forward now;
Dine solely on the solid food of real Men.
Eat your own experience for sustenance.
Be brave, would be Warrior;
the time for false starts is over.
The locked doors you have been banging on all these years
will open -
when you do not use brute force on them.
They cannot be opened by your head brain.
Be smart.
BE and they will open.
Just BE.
Empty that huge cranium,
clean it out; scrape and sweep away the crusty clutter.
Make room for your life.
Leave the comforting whirr, whirr, whirring in that cavernous illusory maze
you believe to be the “Be All and End All”.
Live out loud.
Live in the open.
Step into your body complete,
Open to your senses,
Full of so much more interesting adventures
Than those habitual escape routes dreaming can conjure
BE
 ©2011 ~ Laura Lopez

In Cases of Stubborn Attachment

I’m sure you’ve seen movies where someone has to yell at a beloved animal friend to make it leave for its own good. Sometimes it is necessary to do this with other human beings who have become too attached to us and are stuck in imagination about the relationship.  If they are allowed to remain so emotionally attached they will never get unstuck, they will never grow.

So… after many suggestions, conversations and exhortations about the need for them to expand their horizons, if the resistance to doing so is so great that they are unable to move forward, we take a deep breath, make our faces look ugly and do it. We Act.  Hearts breaking, we put on a great show and shout, “shoo!!!” gesticulating wildly at them. We force them out of their self imposed prisons -  we force them to fly. The heart aches, but there it is, the bare naked truth; it is time for change. The love for these dear ones is not gone from the heart, if anything it is greater than ever. “I wish you all the best." you think. and pray for their safety and well being day and night. And you grin and bear what comes, donning your new masks every time you see them again. Some spit on you, some play monstrous head games, some try to kill you, or destroy you however they can. “One day”, you pray, “one day they will understand.” Is that so? I remind myself.

May you hear with ears and heart that can hear and may you BE Blessed and Blessed and Blessed. Amen, Amen and Amen!
L.

Polishing Being

"There's no courage", The Prophet said, "before the war has begun."
Drunkards vaunt their bravery when you speak of war.
But in the blaze of battle they scatter like mice.
I'm astonished by the man who wants purity
And yet trembles when the harshness of polishing begins.

When a person beats a carpet again and again
It's not the carpet he's attacking, but the dirt in it."
                                                                               ~ Rumi

You Are A Sleeping Machine

The truth is hard to hear.

The ego is in denial of reality all the time.

The moment it gets a glimpse of itself, it starts the "blame game"; often beginning with whoever or whatever gave it the opportunity to see itself - clearly - in action for a moment or two. It goes into kill mode trying to ensure it won't happen again.

After all, it wants you to stay in your comfort zone - that is it's cozy little home.

I see you staring daggers.
False love turns to false hate in the same breath my friend.

Don't shoot the messenger.
The messenger may be your only true friend.

She appears at the behest of your real wish to BE.

Be Calm in the midst of that ego tantrum.
Watch it wiggle and squirm.
Don't be taken in or frightened by its lies.
Shed that snake's "skin".

Then, you will see who you really are under there.
That's the road to Freedom.
Begin to BE Free for the first time in your life.
This is my Prayer for you.

Peace and Blessings,
Peace and Blessings


Be Peace
Be Love
Be Listening
Be Watching
BE
~ by Laura Lopez, 3 July 2010
` por mi Alma

Repetition

"Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." ~ George Santayana

Picture

 http://www.fotosearch.com/FSE389/x12822462/

"Gurdjieff taught that man must create/develop a soul through the course of his life by following a teaching which can lead to this aim, or he will "die like a dog".

Stop chasing that tail!
Get real about your study,
Awaken to your true reality
Be  Still
Be Peace
BE

Conversation With God

for the collective consciousness

http://www.ineedmotivation.com/blog/2010/04/quantum-communication/

PEACE

"Love your tribe- make peace with the other tribes- integrate and widen the tribal boundaries until they disappear."- Evolvefest

Listen
Be Peace
BE

Every Moment

Vessel

Every moment there is an opportunity to 'come back' to my-self. I can stop for a moment and in that moment I can take a deep breath and relax the body - releasing tensions in muscles. I can let go of the chatter in the 'mind' and return to awareness of my own presence -my body here, in this moment, in the now. I can awaken to the reality that I am not just a talking head; I am a living breathing organism.

As I return to my self perhaps, if I am quiet enough, I can see that what I truly wish for in my heart of hearts cannot be found outside of my self in worldly striving, it is here, in this Peace. Everything I truly wish for can only be found through Being in this moment and this moment and this moment and so on. When I forget and am taken again by the outer world and lose the connection to self, in every moment I have an opportunity to stop, breathe, let go, and return.

Stop
Breathe
Let go
Be Still
Return
Be Peace Full
BE

  

Who Is Talking?

This morning, as body and mind were waking up, I noticed a stream of words going through the head. I wondered what was being said and who (which part of me) was talking so early in the morning with such a forward moving energy. I listened to the internal chatter for a bit and recognized it as the part of me that plans my work day. It was already laying out the schedule, making lists and expressing worry about whether this or that item would sell. As I listened to it, I noticed it's force lessening and disappearing like a wisp of smoke. That part was replaced by another. This one complained about a disagreement it had become attached to. It was reliving the argument, listing its grievances. It also disappeared under the light of my attention. I waited a few moments longer, all nice and cozy under the covers to see if any other part had something to say; none did. Except for breath and heart beat, there was a beautiful silence internally. I closed my eyes and began the morning exercise of bringing my attention to all parts of my body, one by one, head to toe - re-membering myself. More connected now and much more awake, I consciously recited "gratitudes" for everything  and everyone I would come into contact with today. Aware of self in movement, I rose, showered and dressed, still listening, still conscious of self as Being, now making my work day lists - intentionally.

I know that there will be forgetting to remember self, but I am prepared - my intention is to be aware of self in movement. I know there will be many  times when the clamor of "talking" in my head will come with associations to what I see with my eyes and I will be 'taken', however, I also know that I don't believe everything I hear in that mode. I know what I want. I wish to BE.

Be In Self
Be in Movement
Be Listening
BE

Why Do You Come To The Work?

Pearls In A Mussel

Why do you come to the Work? This is a question one needs to keep in front of oneself. People come for many reasons; and as the years pass during the study of self, self remembering is added to the question, and the revelations keep coming. Honesty and sincerity are necessary  to uncover the truth within oneself - for oneself.

Many in the work feel they are superior to those not in the work. They feel their practice gives them an edge over others and the others are 'less than'.  The one who thinks this is less than all. He has lost his way. Get hold of that 'superiority', grab it by the neck and don't let go until You are master.

Be Kind
Be Compassion
Be Good
BE

Patience

Mastering patience is necessary. You must first find out what it means to Be patient; what patience really is. Patience is not what you automatically 'think'.  Practice patience in all things, with all people and situations, with yourself, with everything. Practice this all the time. Practice until you do not have to practice any more because you can Be patient, even when you act swiftly.

Be Still Inside
Be Patient
BE

SHIFTING

Shifting inside
Shifting outside
Shifting all around

Everything is in motion
Changing all the time
Nothing is still

Shifting inside
Shifting outside
Shifting all around

Can you feel it?
Are you awake?
Are you dancing?
Are you seeing?

Shifting inside
Shifting outside
Shifting all around

BEing
BE

When the Mourning Is Over

 

detail from painted shawl

How do we know when the worst part of the mourning is over after any loss?  For myself, I wake up one day and realize the crushing weight of longing for what is finished is gone. The sun is shining inside me even if it’s not shining outside; the world has not come to an end, and if it is, that’s okay.  I am in alignment again. The nagging sense of lonesomeness has been vanquished, swept away out of my internal world by sweet acceptance and understanding. Shattered confidence is (seemingly mysteriously) restored to its rightful place. My Heart has mended.  All people, places and things are recognized and known for what they really are… for what they really have been all along – including self.  Inner peace IS. Lady and Sir Denial, like Elvis, have indeed left the building. Huzzah! Monsieur Energy Sucker and his wife, Madame What If-If Only, have gone with them – all vanished into thin air. The only evidence left of their grim visitations - new lessons impressed indelibly on hard drive memory; lessons earned… if I have been diligent in my Work - lessons now one with my cellular structure. Some mistakes will never be repeated again. Some will. I Know this. Understanding of what that old adage, “Time heals all wounds”, means reigns again, more deeply this time as it is each time I Pay attention to the process. Grateful to know these truths in my Holy of Holies; my Dear Heart is glad of the healing balm.  Grace settles on me, a veil has been lifted and I Know the ancient Promise is made good. Not a single petty “iota” dares even think to speak of the dead in egoistic attempts at false rationalization. It is over and to “keep moving” forward in this clearer perception is Joy. I am off the sidelines and have been restored to sanity, free to Love without fear or stinginess.

“Ha, yes, for now!” some gloomy Gus snorts in an echo from a back room of the head brain.
“Yes, my dear this is a given”, I smile, “it always has been, but each time we know more, yes? You always forget that part of the observation. Perhaps it was inconvenient for you to remember; in any case, to keep moving forward is a Joy. This is my birthright.”

Be Peaceful
Be Kindness
Be Love
BE

GRACE

BE Grace

BE Good - not in mean and petty selfishness born in calculating snakiness.
Nothing purchased in that way will ever be yours.

BE Selfless – not from romantic notions, not as an actor in that movie in the head brain.
Nothing purchased in that way will ever be yours.

BE Generosity of Spirit - not as a ticket to getting more for self, nor from foolishness.
Nothing purchased in that way will ever be yours.

BE Gratefulness and Love – not as a con man's transparent gesture.
Nothing purchased in that way will ever be yours.

BE a true Helper of God - not a criminal in your mechanicality always cheating and hurting others.
Nothing purchased in that way will ever be yours.

BE Brave – not like a star in your imagination, but like a Man or Woman – without those famous quotation marks.

BE Truthful - not this wriggling worm caught eternally on that internal hook of lies, justifications, "rationales" and false belief systems.
Nothing purchased in that way will ever be yours.

BE Working – not for street change,but for real Change ~ learn How to BE a real Human in and from your Heart as God intended.

Put away childish things.
Nothing purchased with lies and imagination, nothing purchased in that way will ever be yours.

BE in Grace
Just
BE

Photo Above