"THERE DO EXIST ENQUIRING MINDS, which long for the truth of the heart, seek it, strive to solve the problems set by life, try to penetrate to the essence of things and phenomena and to penetrate into themselves. If a man reasons and thinks soundly, no matter which path he follows in solving these problems, he must inevitably arrive back at himself, and begin with the solution of the problem of what he is himself and what his place is in the world around him. For without this knowledge, he will have no focal point in his search. Socrates’ words, “Know thyself” remain for all those who seek true knowledge and being."

VIEWS FROM THE REAL WORLD, BY by G.I. Gurdjieff, p 43

Showing posts with label Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Loss. Show all posts

16 November 2010

Journal: Instructions for Mourning Properly

Grief is a very interesting experience.

Letting go... how does one do that? It's such a popular concept. Dime store advice and methodologies abound. Cast your net for five seconds and there it is, the perfect solution for what ails you. At least, a lot of words about how to cure what ails you. In reality it's best to arm oneself with all the information and theories one can, read everything on what happens during the mourning process and then walk through the fire- suffer until the suffering is over.

This is a natural process. Know you are suffering and why.   Be present as much as possible to what you are feeling, listen to what the mind is saying, it's sure to run through a million scenarios, memories and more. One can be a little self destructive during this time, especially if a lot of self blaming and guilt are attached. Be mindful of how the body is reacting to all this emotion and take care of it during the process.   Journal the experience - write it all down, the good, the bad and the ugly! Honor your feelings, allow yourself to feel. Be a drama queen/king, don't be a drama queen/king. See the drama queen/king in action Cry as much and for as long as it takes. Yell at God. (S/he won't get mad at you.) Take internal notes and pictures along the way, accept yourself as you are, in the most sincere way. Be gentle with yourself, experience what you are experiencing, Get help if you start to think dark thoughts or are drinking too much or relying on drugs to dull the pain.  Allow others to help. Claim your privacy when you need it. Go underground and listen.  Remember to come up for air once in awhile. Don't stay in there for too long (keep a calender) and remember to bathe and change your clothes once in awhile. When the fog begins to lift, be nice to yourself, don't push too hard - take baby steps. Remember to tell God you were sorry for yelling at him/her.


Studies have shown that there are five [basic] stages to mourning:   
  • Denial, disbelief, numbness
  • Anger, blaming others
  • Bargaining (for instance "If I am cured of this cancer, I will never smoke again.")
  • Depressed mood, sadness, and crying
  • Acceptance, coming to terms with the reality of the situation
  "When someone we love is gone from our lives, it is as if a piece of us has been torn away. The loss rends the fabric of our lives and the wound must be repaired. Grief is that process by which our minds heal this hurt. For us to go on with our lives and again risk caring about others, we need to let go of those we love who are no longer with us. Through this process of mourning, we gradually accept the loss. We allow the dead to be gone from our lives.
At the end of mourning, there is still sadness, but it is a wistful sadness that is tempered by the happy memories that we still possess."  Glenn Brynes, Ph.D., M.D.


BE Good
BE Love

21 October 2010

In Cases of Stubborn Attachment

I’m sure you’ve seen movies where someone has to yell at a beloved animal friend to make it leave for its own good. Sometimes it is necessary to do this with other human beings who have become too attached to us and are stuck in imagination about the relationship.  If they are allowed to remain so emotionally attached they will never get unstuck, they will never grow.

So… after many suggestions, conversations and exhortations about the need for them to expand their horizons, if the resistance to doing so is so great that they are unable to move forward, we take a deep breath, make our faces look ugly and do it. We Act.  Hearts breaking, we put on a great show and shout, “shoo!!!” gesticulating wildly at them. We force them out of their self imposed prisons -  we force them to fly. The heart aches, but there it is, the bare naked truth; it is time for change. The love for these dear ones is not gone from the heart, if anything it is greater than ever. “I wish you all the best." you think. and pray for their safety and well being day and night. And you grin and bear what comes, donning your new masks every time you see them again. Some spit on you, some play monstrous head games, some try to kill you, or destroy you however they can. “One day”, you pray, “one day they will understand.” Is that so? I remind myself.

May you hear with ears and heart that can hear and may you BE Blessed and Blessed and Blessed. Amen, Amen and Amen!
L.

02 April 2010

Good Friday


After Jesus was arrested in the garden of Gethsemane, he was brought before Caiaphas, high priest and chairman of the Sanhedrin, and the elders and scribes. Painting of Christ being tried in front of Caiaphas Peter followed at a safe distance and sat in the crowd to (Matt 26:57) "see the end". Caiaphas "sought false witness" against Christ, he was accused of blasphemy and sentenced to die. He was tormented, ridiculed, beaten and spit on and taunted by his captors.  
The next morning (now observed as Black Friday or Good Friday) Jesus was taken to Pilate, the Roman governor  who questioned him further.  Judas, seeing what was happening to Jesus returned to the temple priests and elders and said, Matthew 27:4 that he had, "sinned in that I have I have betrayed the innocent blood." The elders replied, "What is that to us? See thou to that". Judas threw the 30 pieces of silver down in the temple and then went away and hanged himself. Pilate passed off the the responsibility  of condemning Jesus to death to the people by giving them the choice of liberating Christ or another prisoner in honor of the feast day. At the persuasion of the priests and elders the people chose Barabbas, the other prisoner. Pilate asked the crowd what he should do with Christ; they all said, Matthew 27: "Let him be crucified". Pilate asked them, "Why? For what evil hath he done?" but they insisted again that he crucify Christ.  Pilate symbolically washed his hands in water, washing his hands of the deed saying, 27:24 "I am innocent of the blood of this person, see ye to it." thus passing responsibility back to them. The people accepted saying, 27:25 "His blood be on us and on our children" Pilate gave the people Barabbas, had Jesus  27:26 "scourged" and handed him over to the soldier to be crucified.  27:27 Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus to the common hall and gathered together the whole band of soldiers. 28 And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and made a crown of thorns and put it on his head, they mocked him by bowing and saying "Hail King of Jews." They spit on him and hit him.


Once the sadistic brutes were done making sport and tormenting Jesus, they put his own clothes back on him and took him to Golgotha to be crucified. There, they nailed him to the cross, and 27:34 they gave Him sour wine mingled with gall to drink. But when He tasted it, He would not drink. They took his clothes and gambled for them - fulfilling another part of the old prophecy. 27:36 And sitting down they watched him there.

27:39 Many passersby and people in the crowd taunted him and challenged him to get God to take him down from the cross. The chief priests, elders and scribes stood in the crowd mocking him. They said, 28:42 "He saved others but cannot save himself; if he is the King of Israel let him come down from the cross now and we will believe him. He trusted in God; let him deliver him now for he said , 'I am the son of God'. " Even the two thieves being crucified the same day taunted him with the same words.

27:45 Now, from the sixth hour there was darkness all over the land unto the ninth hour, 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice saying, "My God, My God, Why hath thou forsaken me?" John 28-30 Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

  Matthew 27:51 And behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake and the rocks did rent; 52 And the graves were opened and many bodies of the saints which slept arose. 55 And came out of their graves after his resurection and went into the city and appeared to many. 54 Now when the centurion and they that were watching Jesus saw the earth quake and those things that were done. they feared greatly and said, "Truly this was the Son of God." 55 And many women were there beholding afar off which followed Jesus from Galilee ministering to him : 56 Among them were Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James and Joses (now known as the Virgin Mother), and the mother of Zebedee's children.

Matthew 27: 57, 58, 59. When evening came Joseph of Arimethae, a disciple of Christ, went to Pilate and begged him for the body of Christ; Pilate commanded the body be delivered.  Joseph wrapped Jesus in a clean cloth, laid him in his own tomb, rolled a huge stone in front of the opening to the sepulcher and left. 61 And mary Magdeline and the other Mary stayed sitting over by the tomb. 62 The next day the chief priests and Pharisees went to Pilate 27: 63, 64, 65, to get him to post a Roman guard over the tomb so Christ's followers could not take the body away and then claim Christ's prophesy that he would be resurrected in three days came true. Pilate sent guards and the priests sent guards and they sealed the tomb and set a watch on it.

11 February 2010

When the Mourning Is Over

 
How do we know when the worst part of the mourning is over after any loss?  For myself, I wake up one day and realize the crushing weight of longing for what is finished is gone. The sun is shining inside me even if it’s not shining outside; the world has not come to an end, and if it is, that’s okay.  I am in alignment again. The nagging sense of lonesomeness has been vanquished, swept away out of my internal world by sweet acceptance and understanding. Shattered confidence is (seemingly mysteriously) restored to its rightful place. My Heart has mended.  All people, places and things are recognized and known for what they really are… for what they really have been all along – including self.  Inner peace IS. Lady and Sir Denial, like Elvis, have indeed left the building. Huzzah! Monsieur Energy Sucker and his wife, Madame What If-If Only, have gone with them – all vanished into thin air. The only evidence left of their grim visitations - new lessons impressed indelibly on hard drive memory; lessons earned… if I have been diligent in my Work - lessons now one with my cellular structure. Some mistakes will never be repeated again. Some will. I Know this. Understanding of what that old adage, “Time heals all wounds”, means reigns again, more deeply this time as it is each time I Pay attention to the process. Grateful to know these truths in my Holy of Holies; my Dear Heart is glad of the healing balm.  Grace settles on me, a veil has been lifted and I Know the ancient Promise is made good. Not a single petty “iota” dares even think to speak of the dead in egoistic attempts at false rationalization. It is over and to “keep moving” forward in this clearer perception is Joy. I am off the sidelines and have been restored to sanity, free to Love without fear or stinginess.

“Ha, yes, for now!” some gloomy Gus snorts in an echo from a back room of the head brain.
“Yes, my dear this is a given”, I smile, “it always has been, but each time we know more, yes? You always forget that part of the observation. Perhaps it was inconvenient for you to remember; in any case, to keep moving forward is a Joy. This is my birthright.”

Be Peaceful
Be Kindness
Be Love
BE

10 December 2009

If Not Love, Then What?

If I am not Love,
What am I?
A thing.
Some... thing.
Unknown to myself.

I told you an hundred times,
"I Love You."
You only heard,
"i love you"
and closed your Heart.

You said,
"Yes, for now."

I answered,
"I Know, nevertheless,
I Love You no matter what."

You turned away
Without Under-Standing.

Love is nothing to fear my Friend.

Listen
BE Listening

Open Your Heart
BE Listening

Open

Love

BE Love

GOD Is Love
                    ~Lalo


BE