LAST CHAPTERS ©Slippery Mind

 SLIPPERY MIND

©Finding Balance, 2008, Laura Lopez

"Forgetting quickly as it turns from one task to another
... it searches for what it had a grasp of only a moment ago.

This slippery mind is a wonder
... so easily distracted
... so easily forgetting... what?

Let it go, I suggest as the fog rolls in ...
now smiling,

I feel newly born
In awe of each moment of this new reality

Hah!

Slippery mind."

~ From: 

©LAST CHAPTERS, 

chats with myself about the reality of MY situation

by, Laura Lopez, July 2015

"Happiness" - Alfred D. Souza

    "Happiness"
- Alfred D. Souza

_________________________________________

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one...

So stop waiting
until you finish school,
until you go back to school,
until you lose ten pounds,
until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids,
until your kids leave the house,
until you start work,
until you retire,
until you get married,
until you get divorced,
until Friday night,
until Sunday morning,
until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off,
until spring,
until summer,
until fall,
until winter,
until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth,
until your song comes on,
until you've had a drink,
until you've sobered up,
until you die,
until you are born again
to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

BLOCKED?

A.R.T.S. ANONYMOUS

Demons, Identification & Being

 
We all have our demons. Sometimes they win and that is a very big sin against self. Why are some of us equipped to beat them and some not? What does it take to win over habit, addiction and the stories in our heads that drive us to abuse self and others in all manner of ways?

Inner Demons: Decending ~ L. Lopez, Sculpture:1990's

The Following is from: "Conscience" by P.D. Ouspensky:

"The term 'negative emotions' means all emotions of violence or depression: self-pity, anger, suspicion, fear, annoyance, boredom, mistrust, jealousy and so on. Ordinarily, one accepts this expression of negative emotions as quite natural and even necessary. Very often people call it 'sincerity'. Of course it has nothing to do with sincerity; it is simply a sign of weakness in man, a sign of bad temper and of incapacity to keep his grievances to himself. Man realizes this when he tries to oppose it, and from . this he learns another lesson. He realizes that in relation to mechanical manifestations it is not enough to observe them, it is necessary to resist them, because without! resisting them one cannot observe them. They happen so quickly, so habitually and so imperceptibly that one cannot notice them if one does not make sufficient efforts to create obstacles for them.

These negative emotions are a terrible phenomenon. They occupy an enormous place in our life. Of many people it is possible to say that all their lives are regulated and controlled, and in the end ruined by negative emotions. At the same time, negative emotions do not play any useful part at all in our lives. They do not help our orientation, they do not give us any knowledge, they do not guide us in any sensible manner. On the contrary, they spoil all our pleasures, they make life a burden to us and they very effectively prevent our possible development because there is nothing more mechanical in our life than negative emotions.
Negative emotions can never come under our control. People who think they can control their negative emotions and manifest them when they want to, simply deceive themselves. Negative emotions depend on identification;1 if identification is destroyed in some particular case, they disappear. The strangest and most fantastic fact about negative emotions is that people actually worship them. The most difficult thing for an ordinary mechanical man to realize is that his own and other people's negative emotions have no value whatever and do not contain anything noble, anything beautiful or anything strong. In reality negative emotions contain nothing but weakness and very often the beginning of hysteria, insanity or crime. The only good thing about them is that, being quite useless and artificially created by imagination and identification, they can be destroyed without any loss — and this is the only chance of escape that man has.

In reality, we have much more power over negative emotions than we think, particularly when we already know how dangerous they are and how urgent is the need to struggle with them. But we find too many excuses for them, and swim in the seas of self-pity or selfishness, as the case may be, finding fault with everything except ourselves."

<<<<<<<<<< * >>>>>>>>>>

 

Thank you for sharing your beautiful voice and talents with us. May you Be in Peace now. 

Whitney Houston 1963 ~ 2012 : WireImage/Tibrina Hobson

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science."

Albert Einstein

Steadily Toward Home

Freer and freer,
Slowly
Savoring each step
To get the fullness of
the flavor and the taste
of the madness and sorrow
66 years in exile wrought.

I move toward my WISH.
Into FREEDOM.
HEART FULL,
I move toward Home
And You,
My Beloved of Beloveds.

~ LL 10 April 2011

Life Goes On...

for some.

Harvey  ~ Beeswax ~LL. 1970

For others it is frozen in a permanent loop of repetition.
The same old, same old,
New each time -
as if it never happened before.
While dreaming he is moving
He marches in place
Growing old
Dreaming he is a boy.

Lies, justifications, explanations, defense
All stand at that door
Fully armed
Guarding against the truth.

Listen!
Can you hear?

L 2011

Journal: Juggling

Vintage 1960's Men's or Woman's Lounging Robe or Smoking Jacket

I forgot what it was like to juggle so many balls in the air at once. I'm a little rusty, but am beginning to remember how. The demands of the outer situation are keeping me on my toes and that  magical door to no-time has reopened.

Forced to come out of seclusion, grief is not so  overwhelmingly present; the ice has begun to crack and crocuses are peeking through the snow. They're smiling at me, and from time to time, I smile back. See, the other end of the stick; it's not so bad ;-)  Perhaps the mourning is almost over, we'll see.

In any case, I've decided to add some vintage items to the shop, things I've loved for a long time. It's time to let them go.

L.

My Ten Little Russian "Indians" are almost 100 years old

In Cases of Stubborn Attachment

I’m sure you’ve seen movies where someone has to yell at a beloved animal friend to make it leave for its own good. Sometimes it is necessary to do this with other human beings who have become too attached to us and are stuck in imagination about the relationship.  If they are allowed to remain so emotionally attached they will never get unstuck, they will never grow.

So… after many suggestions, conversations and exhortations about the need for them to expand their horizons, if the resistance to doing so is so great that they are unable to move forward, we take a deep breath, make our faces look ugly and do it. We Act.  Hearts breaking, we put on a great show and shout, “shoo!!!” gesticulating wildly at them. We force them out of their self imposed prisons -  we force them to fly. The heart aches, but there it is, the bare naked truth; it is time for change. The love for these dear ones is not gone from the heart, if anything it is greater than ever. “I wish you all the best." you think. and pray for their safety and well being day and night. And you grin and bear what comes, donning your new masks every time you see them again. Some spit on you, some play monstrous head games, some try to kill you, or destroy you however they can. “One day”, you pray, “one day they will understand.” Is that so? I remind myself.

May you hear with ears and heart that can hear and may you BE Blessed and Blessed and Blessed. Amen, Amen and Amen!
L.

Living

"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." ~Lao Tzu

Breathing

"Empty-handed I entered the world,
Barefoot I leave it.

My coming, my going -
Two simple happenings that got entangled."
~ Kozan Ichikyo

SHIFTING

Shifting inside
Shifting outside
Shifting all around

Everything is in motion
Changing all the time
Nothing is still

Shifting inside
Shifting outside
Shifting all around

Can you feel it?
Are you awake?
Are you dancing?
Are you seeing?

Shifting inside
Shifting outside
Shifting all around

BEing
BE

When the Mourning Is Over

 

detail from painted shawl

How do we know when the worst part of the mourning is over after any loss?  For myself, I wake up one day and realize the crushing weight of longing for what is finished is gone. The sun is shining inside me even if it’s not shining outside; the world has not come to an end, and if it is, that’s okay.  I am in alignment again. The nagging sense of lonesomeness has been vanquished, swept away out of my internal world by sweet acceptance and understanding. Shattered confidence is (seemingly mysteriously) restored to its rightful place. My Heart has mended.  All people, places and things are recognized and known for what they really are… for what they really have been all along – including self.  Inner peace IS. Lady and Sir Denial, like Elvis, have indeed left the building. Huzzah! Monsieur Energy Sucker and his wife, Madame What If-If Only, have gone with them – all vanished into thin air. The only evidence left of their grim visitations - new lessons impressed indelibly on hard drive memory; lessons earned… if I have been diligent in my Work - lessons now one with my cellular structure. Some mistakes will never be repeated again. Some will. I Know this. Understanding of what that old adage, “Time heals all wounds”, means reigns again, more deeply this time as it is each time I Pay attention to the process. Grateful to know these truths in my Holy of Holies; my Dear Heart is glad of the healing balm.  Grace settles on me, a veil has been lifted and I Know the ancient Promise is made good. Not a single petty “iota” dares even think to speak of the dead in egoistic attempts at false rationalization. It is over and to “keep moving” forward in this clearer perception is Joy. I am off the sidelines and have been restored to sanity, free to Love without fear or stinginess.

“Ha, yes, for now!” some gloomy Gus snorts in an echo from a back room of the head brain.
“Yes, my dear this is a given”, I smile, “it always has been, but each time we know more, yes? You always forget that part of the observation. Perhaps it was inconvenient for you to remember; in any case, to keep moving forward is a Joy. This is my birthright.”

Be Peaceful
Be Kindness
Be Love
BE

WORK

The story below is from Meetings with Remarkable Men, from the chapter on Pogossian by G.I. Gurdjieff

“Pogossian was always occupied; he was always working at something. He never sat, as is said, with folded arms, and one never saw him lying down like his comrades reading diverting books, [today I am sure G would add playing on the computer and many other idle pastimes used in present day society to “kill” time] which gave nothing real. […]"

"I once asked him why he was such a fool as to not rest since no one would pay him anything for all these useless exercises."

“Yes indeed”, he replied, “for the present no one will pay me for these foolish antics of mine – as you and all those pickled in the same barrel of brine think they are – but in the future either you, yourself or your children will pay me for them. Joking apart, I do this because I like work, but I like it not with my nature, which is just as lazy as that of other people, and never wishes to do anything useful, I like to work with my common sense.”

“Please bear in mind”, he added, “that when I use the word ‘I’, you must understand it is not the whole of me, but only as my mind. I love work and have set myself the task of being able, through persistence, to accustom my whole nature to love it and not my reason alone.”

“Further, I am really convinced that in the world no conscious work is ever wasted. Sooner or later someone must pay for it. Consequently, if I work now in this way, I achieve two of my aims. First I shall perhaps teach my nature not to be lazy, and secondly, I will provide for my old age. As you know, I cannot expect that when my parents die they will leave me an ample inheritance to suffice for the time when I will no longer have the strength to earn a living. I also work because the only real satisfaction in life is to work, not from compulsion but consciously; that is what distinguishes a man from a Karabakh ass, which also works day and night.”

"This reasoning of is has been fully justified by the facts. Although he spent his youth-the time most valuable to a man for securing his old age-in as it were, useless wanderings and never concerned himself with making money for his later life, and although he did not go into a serious business until the year 1908, he is now one of the richest men on earth. As for his honesty in earning his wealth, that cannot be questioned."

"He was right when he said no conscious labour is ever wasted. He did, indeed, work consciously and conscientiously, day and night, like an ox, all his life, in all circumstances and under all conditions."

"May God grant him now, at last, his well earned rest."

~~~

What is your relationship with your outer work  - whether at work outside the home or in the home? Is it just a job you do for money? Do you do chores while daydreaming about being done and what you will do when you are done? Do you know how much of your life is wasted in this kind of daydreaming, or are you aware that jobs and chores are a part of your life that can be quite fulfilling and satisfying - regardless of what the outer work is?

Most people have to work and often circumstances have led them to work at jobs they would not have normally chosen.  Most people would rather be elsewhere, which causes them to spend their days in intense habitual negativity at these “undesirable” jobs.  Time and energy are wasted; whole lifetimes of time and energy that could be claimed by using the jobs and chores for inner work, inner work, which will give you inner freedom, which will lead to freedom from negative circumstances and undesirable jobs, which are attracted by the habitual negativity. 

Do you have the sense that you are moving further away from your Hearts desire and what you really want in your life? The habitual negativity toward the job or chore keeps you from being  organically engaged and participating in your own life.  It is not the job, but the negativity and the negative attitudes in which you indulge day and night, day after day, week after week, month after month, which keep you from cherished aims and goals, it is not the job.

Inner work is not a part time occupation or a hobby. You will get no lasting results that way. So many people attend meetings, read the works of great teachers, profess to be 'interested' in inner work, but put many things ahead of the inner work. They talk a good game but when it comes to walking the talk, they are sadly lacking. It is clear who they are. I have even met so called teachers in the work who talk a good game. It is clear who they are too. Gurdjieff suggested we use everything for our inner Work. “Eat or be eaten.” he warned us. 

Ponder this: How can you look at each circumstance and situation in your daily work differently? How can one do this and become enlivened and more whole in oneself instead of  disappearing as time slips by? Think about this while sensing the soles of your feet for five minutes.  Be aware of your feet while thinking.

Interesting, no? It feels good to Be Alive and not just a talking head, eh?

 Strive for Being

Work consciously

Do no harm

Help God
BE

Happy 2010

“What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”  ~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta

~

"Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne  (long, long ago)?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you'll buy your pint cup !
and surely I'll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We [too] have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we've wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

We [too] have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine (dawn);
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

And there's a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o' thine !
And we'll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne."

~ 

I Wish everyone, everywhere a year filled with Illumination and Peace.

BE Peaceful
BE Under Standing
BE Loving
BE True

God Is Love
BE Love 

Redemption

It appears as if this little fellow is getting last minute instructions from his predecessor. What a big job for such tiny tyke.

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"Redemption ~ c.1340, "deliverance from sin," from L. redemptionem (nom. redemptio) "a buying back, releasing, ransoming," from redemptus, pp. of redimere "to redeem, buy back," from re- "back" + emere "to take, buy, gain, procure" (see exempt). The -d- is from the Old L. habit of using red- as the form of re- before vowels, and this is practically the sole Eng. word in which it survives. Redemptorist is from Congregation of the Most Holy Redeemer (founded Naples, 1732, by St. Alphonsus Liguori). In the Mercian hymns, L. redemptionem is glossed by O.E. alesnisse."  ~  Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper
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