Descending Dragon ~ L.Lopez 2008
(study for a hand painted silk shawl)

"In ordinary life there can be no new postures. Even if a man wishes to be an actor his position will be the same in this respect." ~ Jean Vaysse, "Toward Awakening"

This week's task.

"When the Going Gets Tough...

The tough get going."

Is there a "tough guy" amongst the many parts of your self? Is it allowed to speak for you without consulting the rest of your Self? Are you constantly getting stuck paying for what it says and does?
Bravado and lip service won't do.  Real inner work takes a different kind of courage. Real inner strength is built up little by little; real inner strength is achieved through patience with everything ~ including this "tough guy" and your self. Listen to your "tough guy", find out who it is and what it wants. Does it want to be right or does it want to Be?

Know Your Self
Be Watchful
Be Listening
BE

"Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’" HH, Dalai Lama

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury,pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy. 

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. " 

Amen, Amen and Amen

BE Prayer

BE

When the Mourning Is Over

 

detail from painted shawl

How do we know when the worst part of the mourning is over after any loss?  For myself, I wake up one day and realize the crushing weight of longing for what is finished is gone. The sun is shining inside me even if it’s not shining outside; the world has not come to an end, and if it is, that’s okay.  I am in alignment again. The nagging sense of lonesomeness has been vanquished, swept away out of my internal world by sweet acceptance and understanding. Shattered confidence is (seemingly mysteriously) restored to its rightful place. My Heart has mended.  All people, places and things are recognized and known for what they really are… for what they really have been all along – including self.  Inner peace IS. Lady and Sir Denial, like Elvis, have indeed left the building. Huzzah! Monsieur Energy Sucker and his wife, Madame What If-If Only, have gone with them – all vanished into thin air. The only evidence left of their grim visitations - new lessons impressed indelibly on hard drive memory; lessons earned… if I have been diligent in my Work - lessons now one with my cellular structure. Some mistakes will never be repeated again. Some will. I Know this. Understanding of what that old adage, “Time heals all wounds”, means reigns again, more deeply this time as it is each time I Pay attention to the process. Grateful to know these truths in my Holy of Holies; my Dear Heart is glad of the healing balm.  Grace settles on me, a veil has been lifted and I Know the ancient Promise is made good. Not a single petty “iota” dares even think to speak of the dead in egoistic attempts at false rationalization. It is over and to “keep moving” forward in this clearer perception is Joy. I am off the sidelines and have been restored to sanity, free to Love without fear or stinginess.

“Ha, yes, for now!” some gloomy Gus snorts in an echo from a back room of the head brain.
“Yes, my dear this is a given”, I smile, “it always has been, but each time we know more, yes? You always forget that part of the observation. Perhaps it was inconvenient for you to remember; in any case, to keep moving forward is a Joy. This is my birthright.”

Be Peaceful
Be Kindness
Be Love
BE

WORK

The story below is from Meetings with Remarkable Men, from the chapter on Pogossian by G.I. Gurdjieff

“Pogossian was always occupied; he was always working at something. He never sat, as is said, with folded arms, and one never saw him lying down like his comrades reading diverting books, [today I am sure G would add playing on the computer and many other idle pastimes used in present day society to “kill” time] which gave nothing real. […]"

"I once asked him why he was such a fool as to not rest since no one would pay him anything for all these useless exercises."

“Yes indeed”, he replied, “for the present no one will pay me for these foolish antics of mine – as you and all those pickled in the same barrel of brine think they are – but in the future either you, yourself or your children will pay me for them. Joking apart, I do this because I like work, but I like it not with my nature, which is just as lazy as that of other people, and never wishes to do anything useful, I like to work with my common sense.”

“Please bear in mind”, he added, “that when I use the word ‘I’, you must understand it is not the whole of me, but only as my mind. I love work and have set myself the task of being able, through persistence, to accustom my whole nature to love it and not my reason alone.”

“Further, I am really convinced that in the world no conscious work is ever wasted. Sooner or later someone must pay for it. Consequently, if I work now in this way, I achieve two of my aims. First I shall perhaps teach my nature not to be lazy, and secondly, I will provide for my old age. As you know, I cannot expect that when my parents die they will leave me an ample inheritance to suffice for the time when I will no longer have the strength to earn a living. I also work because the only real satisfaction in life is to work, not from compulsion but consciously; that is what distinguishes a man from a Karabakh ass, which also works day and night.”

"This reasoning of is has been fully justified by the facts. Although he spent his youth-the time most valuable to a man for securing his old age-in as it were, useless wanderings and never concerned himself with making money for his later life, and although he did not go into a serious business until the year 1908, he is now one of the richest men on earth. As for his honesty in earning his wealth, that cannot be questioned."

"He was right when he said no conscious labour is ever wasted. He did, indeed, work consciously and conscientiously, day and night, like an ox, all his life, in all circumstances and under all conditions."

"May God grant him now, at last, his well earned rest."

~~~

What is your relationship with your outer work  - whether at work outside the home or in the home? Is it just a job you do for money? Do you do chores while daydreaming about being done and what you will do when you are done? Do you know how much of your life is wasted in this kind of daydreaming, or are you aware that jobs and chores are a part of your life that can be quite fulfilling and satisfying - regardless of what the outer work is?

Most people have to work and often circumstances have led them to work at jobs they would not have normally chosen.  Most people would rather be elsewhere, which causes them to spend their days in intense habitual negativity at these “undesirable” jobs.  Time and energy are wasted; whole lifetimes of time and energy that could be claimed by using the jobs and chores for inner work, inner work, which will give you inner freedom, which will lead to freedom from negative circumstances and undesirable jobs, which are attracted by the habitual negativity. 

Do you have the sense that you are moving further away from your Hearts desire and what you really want in your life? The habitual negativity toward the job or chore keeps you from being  organically engaged and participating in your own life.  It is not the job, but the negativity and the negative attitudes in which you indulge day and night, day after day, week after week, month after month, which keep you from cherished aims and goals, it is not the job.

Inner work is not a part time occupation or a hobby. You will get no lasting results that way. So many people attend meetings, read the works of great teachers, profess to be 'interested' in inner work, but put many things ahead of the inner work. They talk a good game but when it comes to walking the talk, they are sadly lacking. It is clear who they are. I have even met so called teachers in the work who talk a good game. It is clear who they are too. Gurdjieff suggested we use everything for our inner Work. “Eat or be eaten.” he warned us. 

Ponder this: How can you look at each circumstance and situation in your daily work differently? How can one do this and become enlivened and more whole in oneself instead of  disappearing as time slips by? Think about this while sensing the soles of your feet for five minutes.  Be aware of your feet while thinking.

Interesting, no? It feels good to Be Alive and not just a talking head, eh?

 Strive for Being

Work consciously

Do no harm

Help God
BE

Teachers and Students (part III)

"No doubt there are things which pass the ordinary comprehension of man. There are things one can teach only by speaking or by acting; but there is a way of teaching (which is called Tawajjuh), and this way of teaching is without words. It is not external teaching, it is teaching in silence. For instance, how can man explain the spirit of sincerity, or the spirit of gratefulness? How can man explain the ultimate truth, the idea of God? Whenever it has been attempted, it has failed; it has made some confused, and it has made others give up their belief. It is not that the one who tried to explain did not understand, but that words are inadequate to explain the idea of God."...

"However, no one can give spiritual knowledge to another, for this is something that is within every heart. What the teacher can do is to kindle the light which is hidden in the heart of the disciple. If the light is not there, it is not the fault of the teacher."

"There is a verse by Hafiz in which he says, 'However great be the teacher, he is helpless with the one whose heart is closed.' Therefore, initiation means initiation on the part of the disciple and on the part of the teacher, a step forward on the part of both. On the part of the teacher, a step forward with the disciple in order that the pupil may be trusted and raised from his present condition. A step forward for the pupil because he opens his heart; he has no barrier anymore, nothing to hinder the teaching in whatever form it comes, in silence or in words, or in the observation of some deed or action on the part of the teacher."   ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

  "On this mystical path, courage, steadfastness and patience are what are most necessary; but also, trust in the teacher at whose hand initiation is taken and the understanding of the idea of discipline. In the East, where for thousands of years the path of discipleship has been understood, these things are regarded as most important and acceptable from the hand of the teacher. How few in the world know trust! What is necessary is not trusting another, even the teacher, but trusting oneself; and one is not capable of trusting oneself fully when one has not experienced in life how to trust another. Some will ask, 'But if we trusted and our trust was in vain, should we not be disappointed?' The answer is that we must trust for the sake of trust and not for the sake of a return and to see what fruit it brings. The utmost trust is the greatest power in the world. Lack of trust is weakness. Even if we have lost something by trusting, our power will be greater than if we had gained something without developing trust." ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

Be Good
BE Peaceable
BE Love
BE

Students and Teachers (part II)

"Also, there are no fixed rules to follow on this path. For every person there is a special rule. But there is one law which applies to everything in life: sincerity, which is the only thing that is asked by a teacher of a pupil, for truth is not the portion of the insincere.

Several initiations may be given to the pupil whom the teacher has taken in hand, but his progress depends upon the pupil himself. Just as parents are anxious, so the spiritual teacher is naturally anxious to see the advancement of his pupil. There is no reason for the teacher to keep any pupil back from success. For, as the happiness of the parents lies in the happiness of the child, so the satisfaction of the teacher lies in the advancement of the pupil." ~Hazrat Inayat Khan Volume X_2_2

Teachers and Students

~

'However great the teacher be, he is helpless with the one whose Heart is closed.' ~ Hafiz

~~~

"Initiation by a spiritual teacher means both a trust given by the teacher to the pupil, and a trust given by the pupil to the teacher. And the progress of the one who is initiated depends upon how much he gives himself to the teacher's guidance. One might give only a finger, another even a part of a finger, while a third would give his whole hand. That makes a great difference. A pupil says, 'Well, I will give a certain amount of my time and thought to your guidance, will that be enough?' Then the teacher says, 'Yes, if you think it is enough.' In reality, however, it is never enough. Then one might wonder if one would not be giving up one's own point of view in order to follow someone else's point of view; but actually, if one has a point of view, one never loses it. The point of view that one loses is not one's own. By looking at a thing from another person's point of view, one only enlarges one's own. Then, one has two points of view instead of one. If the thought of the pupil happens to be different from that of the teacher, then by taking the teacher's thought, his own is doubled. The pupil keeps his own point of view just the same, only now he has something for his vision from which to make his choice. The horizon of his thought is expanded. But the pupil who closes himself and says, 'I will guard my point of view or it will escape me,' will never derive any benefit from this attitude."

"The mystical path is the most subtle path to tread. The relationship between teacher and pupil is too subtle for words to express. Besides, the language of a mystical teacher is always elusive; you cannot, so to speak, pin him down as to his words. You cannot ask him to say clearly that something is so and so, or such and such. If a mystic does so, he is not a mystic, for a mystic cannot do this. The mystic may seem to be standing on the earth, but he is flying in the air. The air cannot be made into a rock, nor can the mystic be made into a gross entity. His 'yes' does not mean the same as the 'yes' of another, nor does his 'no' mean the same as the 'no' of others. The language of the mystic is not the language of words; it is the language of meaning. It is the greatest distress for a mystic to have to use the words of everyday language, which are not his words. He cannot express himself in these words. We find the same in the actions of the mystic. His outward actions will not express to everybody the meaning which is behind them, and that meaning may be much more important inwardly than the action is outwardly."

"The teacher, therefore, tests his pupil continually. He tells him and he does not tell him, for everything must come in its right time. Divine knowledge has never been taught in words, nor will it ever be so taught. The work of a mystical teacher is not to teach, but to tune, to tune the pupil so that he may become the instrument of God. For the mystical teacher is not the player of the instrument; he is the tuner. When he has tuned it, he gives it into the hands of the Player whose instrument it is to play. The duty of the mystical teacher is his service as a tuner."

"Dispute with a spiritual teacher is never any good, for the pupil may be speaking one language, while the teacher speaks another; and when there is no common language, then how can the dispute be profitable? Therefore, in the path of mysticism, there is no dispute."
...continue reading

~~~~

There is much more to this chapter written by Hazrat Inayat Khan, in which he discusses the valuation, respect and attitude necessary in the student for a viable relationship with his/her spiritual guide.  No teacher will carry a false student for very long. It is better to ask the student to leave.

False students are thieves, they steal energy, time and more from the teacher and other students and muck up the atmosphere; slowing and sometimes even stopping growth for everyone. Their selfishness affects the Whole world in ways they cannot fathom. 


BE Real
BE Peacable
BE Loving
BEhave
BE

Compassion Exercise

Ray Palmer's initial presentation of his philosophy and teaching, i.e.: the comic book name and having levels where you are given titles [exchanging one illusion for another for a short time for those who do not follow through with more intensive, longer lasting studies], etc. can be a bit off putting for some of the more dogmatic practitioners of "better ways" out there, however, one could, for higher purposes, intentionally take the attitude of  allowing.

In my estimation, whatever succeeds in getting the habitually negative to learn that it is actually possible to shift attitude by intentionally changing a thought pattern and to become positive, and to actually experience the benefits of that internal shift...  is a 'good thing." Yes? It is a glimpse, a taste... verification that it is possible to change... however minute. Glimpses are good!

Yes, yes, Palmer's Avatar method is not the Work. Listen, I am grateful that so many people who have a wish to be better human beings and who have not found the work, have found other ways to get a few steps ahead. Perhaps these ways will lead to the way each was meant to reach.

I know I made a lot of stops on my way to the Gurdjieff work. One path led to the next. The proliferation of all the New New New Age groups that are popping up everywhere now and the hordes of people flocking to recently empty churches, synagogues, mosques and temples are proof positive that humanity is feeling a real need for something higher than the next line of Gucci's now. It is happening now. All those who begin a sincere search, regardless of where they begin -  do help themselves, the planet and God. Every drop helps.

I've chosen to post this particular  'lesson' today because I believe it would be helpful for the earth if as many people as possible to try it during the next couple of  months, whoever you are, wherever you are at whatever level of enlightenment you are.  For those who are new to this kind of inner work, feel free to write in with your observations, and comments.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Honesty with yourself leads to compassion for others." Ray Palmer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Instructions for the Avatar Times Compassion Exercise:"

"This exercise can be done anywhere that people congregate (airports, malls, parks, beaches, etc.). It should be done on strangers, unobtrusively, from some distance. Try to do all five steps on the same person.

Step 1  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for his/her life."

Step 2  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life."

Step 3  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness, and despair."

Step 4  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill his/her needs."

Step 5  With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."

OPEN your HEART, OPEN your MIND, LISTEN

BE Compassionate
Be Compassion
BE Love
BE

TOO MUCH TALKING

There's a whole lot of talking going on.
Too  much talking.
They say yes, they say no.

Others concur,
They disagree.

Hugging
Fighting
Hugging
 
Yes, no, yes, no... maybe.

Bargaining.

A whole lot of talking,
In head brains,
In heart brains.
Too much talking.

Does anyone really hear anything?
Do you know what is really meant?

No...

Filters, filters, everywhere,
Nothing is under~stood.

Filters in the brains,
Filters on the Heart,

Brains on automatic pilot.

Can you hear your cells
Whispering deeper down?
There are the roots of desire.

Do you know how to listen?

Somewhere in those unseen places,
In that deep darkness,
Lives the truth of who you were,
Who you really are,

Who you can be.

There, lie the real gems and secrets,
The treasures you yearn for.

If only you could Hear
In purer states of being,
In true honesty.

Perhaps a wiggling free
From the

Ordinary
Mundane
Hamster wheel
existence

You mistake for living

Could begin,

Opening doors to

Freedom from that deadening mechanicality.

If only...


BE at Peace
BE PEACE
BE

Negativity & Emanations

"A person with a strong, active pain-body has a particular emanation that other people perceive as extremely unpleasant. When they meet such a person, some people will immediately want to remove themselves or reduce interaction with him or her to a minimum. They feel repulsed by the person's energy field. Others feel a wave of aggression toward this person, they will be rude or attack  him or her verbally and in some cases, even physically. This means there is something within them that resonates with the other person's pain body. What they react to so strongly is also in them. It is their own pain-body.

Not surprisingly, people with heavy and frequently active pain-bodies often find themselves in conflict situations. Sometimes, of course, they actually provoke them. But at other times, they may not actually do anything. The negativity they emanate is enough to attract hostility and generate conflict. It requires a high degree of Presence to avoid reacting when confronted by someone with such an active pain-body. If you are able to stay present, it sometimes happens that your Presence enables the other person to dis-identify from his or her own pain-body and thus experience the miracle of a sudden awakening. Although the awakening may be short-lived, the awakening process will have become initiated."

Breaking Identification With the Pain Body
Eckhardt Tolle
A New Earth Pages Ch:6: Pg:174

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"From my point of view, he can be called a remarkable man who stands out from those around him by the resourcefulness of his mind, and who knows how to be restrained in the manifestations which proceed from his nature, at the same time conducting himself justly and tolerantly towards the weaknesses of others." ~ G.I. Gurdjieff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gurdjieff exhorts us repeatedly to study (observe) negativity in ourselves by not expressing negative emotions while being organically aware of the sensations in our bodies at the same time. By doing this we bring more of our Presence to the situation we find ourselves in. If we do not allow ourselves to express negative emotions while with others who have a strong pain-body, we begin to see how we are in reality. We all have what Tolle calls pain-bodies - many of them. Some are bigger and louder than others in us. Each of these has a story it tells itself over and over again. Depending on which way the wind blows or what you had for dinner, or whether you got you dollars worth, etc., one or the other of these stands at the forefront of you, pretending to be all of you, and meets the world entrenched in it's own story associating everything to it. It is identified with the story and identifies everything by it's story. It lives in illusion, and allowing it to continue on like that keeps you imprisoned in illusion.

There is an expression, "Fake it til you make it." This can be useful at the beginning, but you can only go so far by "faking it". At some point you must Be what you have been faking or drop the act, come hell or high water. Remember your aim. What do you really want? Who are you? Who do you really wish to Be?


Be at Peace
Be Love
BE

GOSSIP Revisited

I originally posted this topic on 2 September 2009 under the Title: Gossip.

I re-post it today as a reminder that, more often than not, what we say in gossip to our friends and neighbors does permanent harm to everyone concerned.

Gossip is manipulation.
Gossiping damages and halts  your progress and growth.
It can even end your inner work permanently.

Repairing this error is extremely difficult and many do not make it.

Worse yet, this lack of spiritual self control on your part also seriously damages the possibilities for the awakening of those you are gossiping to if they believe  your gossip.

Even if they do not - you have planted negative seeds, which feed their own stories and fears - making their journeys more difficult.

You alienate them from what could save them.

This is especially true when these people are just beginning to know for themselves that they sincerely wish for something higher.

Nothing created in negativity produces anything useful - except very hard lessons (if you can See and Hear) in what comes from intentionally directed negativity for your own selfish ends.


You banish yourself and your listener(s) to illusion.

You are stealing their opportunities to enter into a true spiritual realm of study.

... and giving in to your ego impulses to gossip takes from you what you have worked so hard to earn.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

From the Movie: Doubt  

After being accused of heinous acts, a priest, Father Brendan Flynn, tells the following story to his congregation:

"A man was gossiping with a friend about a man he hardly knew." Father Flynn looks into the eyes of the congregation sitting before him as he speaks, his intense gaze lingering on the faces of his two accusers. "I know none of you have ever done this." People squirm in their seats.

 Father Flynn continues: "That night he had a dream. A great hand appeared over him and pointed a finger down at him. He was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day he went to confession. He got the old parish priest and told him the whole thing."

"Is gossiping a sin?" he asked the old man. "Was that the hand of Almighty God pointing a finger at me? Should I be asking your absolution Father? Father, tell me, have I done something wrong?"

"Yes!", the old priest answered. "Yes! You ignorantly badly brought up man! You've born false witness against your neighbor! You played fast and loose with [her] reputation and you should be heartily ashamed!"


"The man said he was sorry and asked forgiveness."

"Not so fast," said the old priest. "I want you to go home, take a pillow off your bed, take it up to the roof, cut it open with a knife and return here to me."

"So, the man went home, took a pillow off his bed, got a knife from the kitchen, took them up to the roof, and stabbed and cut the pillow open. Then he went back to the priest and told him he'd done what he asked."

"Did you gut the pillow with a knife?" the old priest asked."

"Yes, Father."

"And what was the result?" he asked."

"Feathers." he replied."

"Feathers." the priest repeated nodding his head up and down, yes"

"Feathers everywhere, Father." the man said, not yet getting the point."

The priest then told him: " Now, I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind."

"Well," said the man, "it can't be done, I don't know where they went. They flew all over"

"And that," said the priest, "is GOSSIP!!"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

If you can take this story into your heart with the appropriate attitude, be you the one who gossips or the one who is "innocently" listening to the gossip, or both, live with it for awhile. You will come to truly understand what it means on a higher level through higher consciousness. If you do that sincerely and are honest with yourself before God, you will be freed from that which causes you to gossip. It is difficult, but the Freedom you earn is worth it in the end.

I once heard, when I was a very young gossip fiend, that gossip kills. As I delved deeper and deeper into inner work in the following years, I discovered it was a lawful truth. Gossip kills.

Know that I Love You,

BE At Peace

Do No more Harm to yourself or to others

EVERYTHING IS Sacred

BE

I AM

Going Home

"If you think you're so enlightened go spend a week with your parents." ~ Ram Dass

Gurdjieff taught that ordinary man's thoughts are automatic thoughts [tapes] which  we play over and over in our minds. Eckhardt Tolle calls ordinary thinking "the voices in our heads" and refers to  negative automatic thoughts as "the pain body" or "the story of me". This inner chatter in our brains, these inner stories we tell ourselves automatically, which we call 'thinking',  are triggered by anything and everything. Like leaves on the wind they are blown this way and that and they are constantly running - often without our even noticing what we are thinking.  They are, for the most part, negative thoughts. Whatever you call them, they are habitual, automatic, illusory reactions to the external stimuli in our every day lives, which trigger them. When my mother went off on a tear, nagging the same old tune, we children used to look at each other and joke: "Who put the nickle in?" [the jukebox - Yes, it only cost a nickle at one time long, long ago and far, far away.] We knew it was an habitual rant triggered by something someone had just said or done, or some situation she found herself in. For instance,  whenever we were preparing to visit family she became ridiculously angry. Often we ended up not going at all because she'd worked herself into such a state she had to lie down to rest. Later, when I was in my twenties, I noticed that I did  the same thing.

These ideas about automatic thoughts, behavior and emotions beg the questions: What is real? What are real thinking, feelings and actions? If these thoughts are not me, then who am I? One can begin to find answers through self study. Jesus exhorted: "Know thyself." Why did he say that? What is self study? Does one have to become a priest, a monk, a nun or religious zealot to know oneself? No. One does not. In fact, I believe, as Gurdjieff taught, it is a work best practiced in life. In life, we are exposed to every possible opportunity to observe what we are, as we are at the ordinary level, and in life, we have every possible opportunity to practice countless exercises and methods for transcending the automatic somnambulistic state we usually live in. Today there are innumerable teachers, methods, and organizations that can support one's study. It is important to study with others who have been on a real journey of self study for some time. One can only get so far on one's own.

Two of the most important lessons first taught in real systems of self study are practical lessons, which teach one how to become aware of the sensation of the organic body and how to 'see'  the automatic thoughts. These lessons are taught through instruction in meditation and specific exercises specially designed to help us see these automatic processes in ourselves clearly. Very quickly, serious students are able to verify  that indeed, they are on automatic pilot and living lives in a 'waking' sleep -  which by the way,  makes for very good sheep,  ripe for shearing.  The shearing comes in many guises and forms. One just has to turn the TV sound off and watch the pictures on the screen for about an hour to get an idea of how pervasive this shearing is today. Media, a wonderful technology in and of itself, is used to keep you asleep, hypnotized and enslaved.

During family reunions, each of us played our specific role as laid out from birth - each innocent lambie pie was all primed and ready for the 'shearing' at each event. For my part, after I married and became a mother myself, the entire holiday season automatically kicked off in my mind way before the first gathering in November for Thanksgiving. The internal litany began almost imperceptibly like clockwork at the end of September. By the first of October the internal 'accounts books' [see Nicoll on keeping accounts in Commentaries - Book I] were wide open and out in front of me every day until early March, which is,  as you may notice, way after all the winter holidays are over... and no sooner were they put aside for a short break - out they would come again for Easter. What an amazing internal timekeeper!

The  madness  would begin with mental lists of all the relatives who would be attending gatherings, followed by anxiety and stress about what to cook, what to wear, how I looked, how the house looked, what had I and my husband and son accomplished during the year to make my parents proud since we'd seen them last, and on and on. By 1 November, the associative account keeping was well under way. Each name on the list triggered another thought, which triggered another thought, which triggered another, which triggered another and on and on ad infinitum. By automatic association - grudges, resentments, and old wounds related to each person were  examined, aired out mentally, verbally and emotionally and added to - along with holiday decorations and linens. Last minute Christmas gift buying was  'dealt' with - what a chore it always seemed to be - fraught with anxiety and the need to impress and please.  The lists of gifts that had to be gotten was always accompanied by stomach churning internal and external "litanies" of "why should I have to give anything to this one or that one who did this or that to me or to my son or husband" [who by now were shrugging their shoulders and wondering: "Who put the nickle in?"].  Before I met the Gurdjieff work and began real self study, I tried all the usual recommended methods, means and ways to "get a grip" and to be calmer when around my family. Meditation, breathing exercises, mind control, hypnosis, therapy, and tranquilizers did not help cure this terrible curse over which I had absolutely no power. Without fail, year after year, the automatic processes crippled me emotionally. Poisonous anxiety and negativity oozed through my cells and infected those close to me. I became a card carrying lunatic with a stone heart. There was no real me; I was just a nasty little bundle of angry impatience, resentment, and defensiveness -  a mess that people took for me when it appeared. I did not suffer alone - Everyone else in the family as well as masses of other people on the planet were (and unfortunately still are) in similar, ripe for the shearing, states. We all knew our "roles" and played them perfectly year after year. We were totally unaware that it was all habitual and automatic illusion. We believed that was reality and that was how it had to be. We believed it was real life. More unfortunately it perpetuated ancient rifts in our family, eventually estranging us from one another as adults - in some cases irreparably. Most of us are strangers to one another now I am sad to say.

After I met the work all of that began to change for me, and because it changed for me, it changed, to some extent, for my family. It didn't change immediately, but it did change. It changed because I changed; I learned how to be quiet inside and how to be more discerning and  compassionate. I learned how to sense when the automatic processes began and I learned how to transcend them. Negativity was traded for love, and understanding. I could remember that, above all else, I loved my family - even the ones who enjoyed stepping on my corns and pushed my buttons. I was not perfect but I did get so much better at it every year. "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" became my mantra. I used to (and still do) sing it silently when negativity tries to push in and take over. Sensing my body and breathing were the anchors used to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground.

This doesn't mean one must become a push-over or doormat. Mrs. Lois Bry once said: "Never fear to despise the odious." She was talking about something else at the time, but I found, as with many things that were said to me by the wonderful people I was fortunate to meet and study with in NY, it applied to a myriad of other situations and circumstances on many levels. 

We can go home in the surety that we can be free of the terrible effects habitual negativity. We can be open to love. We can be with our families from an internal place of peaceful intention and share this great  gift with our families and friends by simply Being in peace. We can "conduct [ourselves] justly and tolerantly toward the weaknesses of others" [and our selves] as Mr. Gurdjieff so wisely suggested. We can become remarkable men and women who are living breathing parts of the solution, not parts of the problem. 


Strive to Be Love, Be Happy, Strive to Be Peace

(Brought to you courtesy of Lalo's internal clock :-)*

Change

Commentaries: Book I: Birdlip, May 4, 1941

"It is very necessary at this moment to understand what the Fourth Way mean. There are four ways of work on oneself. We [practice] the Fourth Way which is the most difficult of all because it must be practiced in the midst of life. The Way of the Fakir - that is - the First Way - the Way of the Monk - that is the Second Way - the way of the Yogi - that is the Third Way, is not our way. We have to speak on the small scale of ourselves, but the point is that we are, even on this small scale, trying to follow the Fourth Way which comes down into external life always when there is a period of disorder and chaos."

"Now I would like to say to you all that some of you do not understand the idea of the Fourth Way - for example, you appear to me to expect that the conditions that have existed at one time must or will always exist. This is quite wrong. The Fourth Way must always be related to the varying circumstances of life and can never become fixed and habitual. Suddenly it may be necessary to alter the whole external scheme of things. I want especially at this moment to have around me people who can understand this and who understand this and can relate themselves to different conditions and still maintain in themselves all the principles and ideas of the work. We have no idea how things will go in the future. But we understand that the work must continue in the future. And that means that people must be able to adjust themselves to completely different external conditions and yet maintain the sense and feeling of the work."

"In the Fourth Way the first main achievement is to become No. 4 man - that is, balanced man or all sided man. Now if some of you have formed an idea of what the external form of the work is from past associations and you find yourselves confronted with an entirely new external state of affairs and become negative you are really useless to me in so far as the Fourth Way is concerned. You must learn that every change in the work externally is always useful to you, whatever form it takes, and all of you must be prepared to follow the work in its changing outer manifestations and at all moments maintain a clear inner attitude towards it. [....]"

"I said a long time ago to you and repeated it several times that the work does not necessarily include coming to the Farm and that the Farm was distinct in a sense from the teaching of the work. The work exists through everyone's attitude towards it and no matter what the external situation may be it should make no difference to work in this sense. I am sorry that I have to say this but it is necessary to do so. For all that I know, we may find ourselves again in quite different circumstances, which again will require a proper understanding, and then again, and then again. People must understand that they are in the Fourth Way and that they must always be able to be "all things to all people" and to develop every side of themselves, in relation to society and to all forms of external life, to a reasonable point: otherwise they do not understand the idea of the Fourth Way which maintains itself in the midst of life amongst everything that goes on, adjusting itself and yet always maintaining itself internally. The Fourth Way is and must be the most "flexible" of all, but it requires a most flexible inner understanding and unless a person can be flexible, and yet maintain the feeling of the work, he is a rather difficult subject in connection with this line of the work. Every change in circumstances provides a very useful chance for everyone to learn something. When I have sufficient people around me whom I can trust, in the sense of their being able to deal normally with every kind of person they meet and with every situation in life, I will feel that I am able to extend the work in the way I wish to extend it eventually. And here I will remind you of "mechanicalness" in the work. If you cannot relate to one side or another in life you must make this one of your aims. There is not a single thing in life about which a man in the Fourth Way should not be knowledgeable, or capable of maintaining himself in connection with it. This Fourth Way is not romantic and it is no use having romantic feelings about the Farm in Essex. This Fourth Way is quite ruthless and as soon as something is finished - that is, gives no longer real value, it is abandoned. [...]"

"I would be very glad if you would all try to understand what I mean because it is important to draw attention to this point owing to the fact that so often everyone begins to "settle down" after a time into some form of Fourth Way work which he thinks is going to go on and on just like that. Unfortunately, such mental and emotional habits can be formed"

"I once said to G.: "Why don't you build more solidly?" (We were building a theater.) He said: "This only temporary. In a very short time everything will be different. Everyone will be elsewhere. Nothing can be built permanently at this moment." So it is necessary for everybody to understand in a way what this means. Many times G. had no work "externally" - that is, no place, no habitation. Everything seemed to have been dissolved away and from the external sensory point of view to have vanished, yet, as you know the work went on and was finally transmitted to this country, and yet this had nothing to do with the external form of the work, with the actual house or the situation and so on, and in view of what G. told me privately I fancy that we can have no permanent home for the work and that we will have to adjust ourselves to every kind of situation in the future. But all of you who have heard the teaching over a sufficient time should be able now to be quite tranquil about change in the external form or the external demands of the work and to relate yourselves instantly to them from the work point of view. The trouble is that things become mechanical and it is necessary for a shock to be given so that things are no longer mechanical. But the work continues in the same way and speaks with the same voice and gives the same force to those who acknowledge and practice it."

~ Maurice Nicoll

Be at Peace, Do no Harm, BE
Home Is where the Heart Is

Where Does The Impulse to Gossip Come From?

So, what is gossip after all? For the gossiper isn't it: a form of manipulation, a convincing, a way to get what you want, a way to direct traffic in your own life and control others lives, a way to be to be 'better than', etc. And for the listener: a way to be one of the 'in' crowd, a way to be 'in the know', a way to be important, a way to gather 'ammunition', etc. Where does the impulse to gossip or to listen to gossip come from in yourself? Can you see from what part of yourself this gossip thing emerges and grows. Can you hear your 'accounts keeper's' voice; know it is the mischief maker's tool, the power mongers weapon, the cowards way? Do you hear the inner justifications and rationals you tell yourself to make spreading gossip - rumor, lies and innuendo a guiltless act to yourself? Do you see your self calming mechanisms at work? Is it like a morphine drip for those addicted to gossip?

The next time you are about to speak about someone or listen eagerly to someone who is doing so, look inside, observe yourself - where is the impulse coming from? What is the intention? How do you feel? Is there an edgy eagerness there? Is it real or part of the inner scripts? Can you see what your real purposes and intentions are when speaking about another person or entity?

The idea in the work that there are myriads of little "i's" that are not I (all of myself - together at once) is verifiably true, but as so many practitioners of the method seem to think, this reality does not get me off scott free from paying the bills they run up when I am not paying attention - not awake. At some point in your inner work you must step up and begin to be responsible. Paying these big bills keeps you on your toes - attentive more and more often - blaming others for the bills does not. "The devil made me do it" excuse does not work here. You can do something wrong once, not knowing it is wrong; when you finally do have an organic sense that it is wrong and not from that which is higher in you, and do it again knowing it is wrong, then it is a sin. Knowingly sinning in your work with others repeatedly is to muddy the work of everyone and you are responsible for it.

What is your real intention for engaging in this inner study? What do you wish for - truly? This is not an easy method. There is tremendous resistance to seeing how you really are. You must learn everything you can about the mechanism of resistance to seeing in self observation. You must develop the 'muscles' necessary to stand in front of and to get past the resistance to be able to see what you are seeing to the 'roots' of its existence. How close can you live to yourself - not as a judge, jury and abusive jailer - but as a Loving Guardian of your own inner growth. Can you open your heart to yourself, hold your own (essence) hand and keep moving toward transformation?

When you are speaking to someone, observe yourself, anchor your attention in your body and plant your feet on the ground. Observe what is going on inside you when you speak about people. You will gather a great deal of information that will help you to know yourself.

Be at Peace, Be Brave, Do no Harm

What Separates Us?

"Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship. It comes between you and yourself, between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature, between you and God. It is this screen of thought that creates the illusion of separateness, the illusion that there is you and a totally separate "other." You then forget the essential fact that, underneath the level of physical appearances and separate forms, you are one with all that is."

Eckhardt Tolle

Two

I
ORDINARY

Day to day
Making time to play
All those lofty ponderings
Put away
Just Being here
With no demand
Being who I AM
Without you, my Beloved Friend.


II
MOURNING DOVE

Hroo, hroo
She sings to me from her tree outside my window.
Hroo, hroo
Pulling at my heart,
Which answers: Hroo, hroo
I have lost my dear ones too



Be Good, Be Happy, Be Well, Be at Peace,
L.

Humble Pie is a Good Thing

Humble Pie is a Good Thing

BE Humble
Eat some Humble pie
A suggestion to the ego
To PRACTICE Humility

Entertain the idea
Perhaps all would go easier for you
If you would only…

Wait to see

Who and what is standing in front of you
Stay all those reactive parts
Entice your "brain" with the promise

Perhaps the deep sorrow you experience
Is your heart yearning.

Open to Love

You are them
They are you
You are it
It is you

All connected
One very long Golden thread

What is all the fear about?
Afraid you won’t get your share?
Afraid you won’t get enough?
Afraid you will be tricked?
Afraid you won't get a return on your "investments"?

Stop being a puffed up goose
Your hissing keeps you from what you want most
Your doubt chokes and empties your life
Until you are dead
Worse than stone

Already consumed by the moon

Be at Peace,
Lalo

The Cure for Arrogance is Humility

I am struck today by the arrogance of people who believe themselves to be above others. They take no thought of the consequences of their actions or of the words they use. Their own desires are more important as they barrel straight ahead through people, places and things - even against what small glimmering of real conscience may exist in them. Their own desires are paramount and everything else is to them - just a game. What creates arrogance? When I look closely at arrogant people I see poorly trained, mistreated, unloved, neglected or spoiled children greedily grabbing the next shiny thing thinking it will satisfy. They leave behind trails of discarded, used up, soiled and broken things. In some cases those 'things' are people whose lives have been damaged by the arrogant person's mindless and careless misuse.

In the work, during your early years you are reminded often, not to discuss your work with those who are not in the work, or with your peers because your own fledgling interpretations may mislead and even kill any chances others have of studying the ideas correctly. I've seen this happen repeatedly through the years when individuals who have not reached the level of wisdom necessary to transmit the ideas ignore this suggestion and continue to "wiseacre" about the ideas to others. Being aware of and knowing the level of arrogance an individual must have to continue to do so breaks his or her teachers hearts and diminishes the work of everyone - especially that of the group. There is a reason for honesty and sincerity in the work.

Are you arrogant? This is a good question to ask yourself and investigate from an experiential point of view from time to time. Are you being honest and sincere in your intentions, motives and behavior?

"The cure for arrogance is humility." -- LaloBean

"Arrogance diminishes wisdom." - a Middle Eastern saying

"Love measures our stature: the more we love, the bigger we are. There is no smaller package in all the world than that of a man all wrapped up in himself." --William Sloane Coffin, Jr.

"This is an impressive crowd: the Haves and Have-Mores. Some people call you the Elites. I call you my base." -- George W. Bush

“When men are most sure and arrogant they are commonly most mistaken, giving views to passion without that proper deliberation which alone can secure them from the grossest absurdities” -- David Hulme

“Hypocrisy, arrogance, pride, anger, harshness, and ignorance; these are the marks of those who are born with demonic qualities." -- Arjuna - Bagavadd Gita.”

“He has lulled himself into a false sense of competence.” -- Zenpilot

“It is our desires that limit the scope of our self-realization, hinder our extension of consciousness, and give rise to sin, which is the innermost barrier that keeps us apart from our God, setting up disunion and arrogance of exclusiveness.” Rabindranath Tagore

Acknowledge, Study, Learn