Defense Against Narcissist's Behaviors

Interview with Dr. Gail Saltz and Dr. Drew Pinsky

The Causes of Narcissism

~ by Ross Rosenberg author of The  Human Magnet Syndrome : Why we love people who hurt us

Co-dependants Always Fall in Love With Narcissists

The following videos are discussions about “personality disorders”. I have posted them here for the purpose of sharing information about personality types. Do not become identified with and allow yourself to be taken by what you see and hear. Many personality types share many of the same manifestations and habitual ways of being. If what is shared touches a nerve, or starts associations in you, remain centered in yourself. Become aware of your breathing and the soles of the feet on the ground to help you to remain focused while watching and listening. ;-) L.

 Ross Rosenberg, at his lecture entitled, Codependents and Emotional Manipulators discusses the subjective experience for both the codependent and emotional manipulator (pathological narcissist) when they meet and fall in love with each other. Ross is the author of the Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us.

Covert Narcissism

The Covert Narcissist: A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

~ by Ross Rosenberg author of The  Human Magnet Syndrome : Why we love people who hurt us

Why Do You Come To The Work?

Pearls In A Mussel

Why do you come to the Work? This is a question one needs to keep in front of oneself. People come for many reasons; and as the years pass during the study of self, self remembering is added to the question, and the revelations keep coming. Honesty and sincerity are necessary  to uncover the truth within oneself - for oneself.

Many in the work feel they are superior to those not in the work. They feel their practice gives them an edge over others and the others are 'less than'.  The one who thinks this is less than all. He has lost his way. Get hold of that 'superiority', grab it by the neck and don't let go until You are master.

Be Kind
Be Compassion
Be Good
BE

Teachers and Students

~

'However great the teacher be, he is helpless with the one whose Heart is closed.' ~ Hafiz

~~~

"Initiation by a spiritual teacher means both a trust given by the teacher to the pupil, and a trust given by the pupil to the teacher. And the progress of the one who is initiated depends upon how much he gives himself to the teacher's guidance. One might give only a finger, another even a part of a finger, while a third would give his whole hand. That makes a great difference. A pupil says, 'Well, I will give a certain amount of my time and thought to your guidance, will that be enough?' Then the teacher says, 'Yes, if you think it is enough.' In reality, however, it is never enough. Then one might wonder if one would not be giving up one's own point of view in order to follow someone else's point of view; but actually, if one has a point of view, one never loses it. The point of view that one loses is not one's own. By looking at a thing from another person's point of view, one only enlarges one's own. Then, one has two points of view instead of one. If the thought of the pupil happens to be different from that of the teacher, then by taking the teacher's thought, his own is doubled. The pupil keeps his own point of view just the same, only now he has something for his vision from which to make his choice. The horizon of his thought is expanded. But the pupil who closes himself and says, 'I will guard my point of view or it will escape me,' will never derive any benefit from this attitude."

"The mystical path is the most subtle path to tread. The relationship between teacher and pupil is too subtle for words to express. Besides, the language of a mystical teacher is always elusive; you cannot, so to speak, pin him down as to his words. You cannot ask him to say clearly that something is so and so, or such and such. If a mystic does so, he is not a mystic, for a mystic cannot do this. The mystic may seem to be standing on the earth, but he is flying in the air. The air cannot be made into a rock, nor can the mystic be made into a gross entity. His 'yes' does not mean the same as the 'yes' of another, nor does his 'no' mean the same as the 'no' of others. The language of the mystic is not the language of words; it is the language of meaning. It is the greatest distress for a mystic to have to use the words of everyday language, which are not his words. He cannot express himself in these words. We find the same in the actions of the mystic. His outward actions will not express to everybody the meaning which is behind them, and that meaning may be much more important inwardly than the action is outwardly."

"The teacher, therefore, tests his pupil continually. He tells him and he does not tell him, for everything must come in its right time. Divine knowledge has never been taught in words, nor will it ever be so taught. The work of a mystical teacher is not to teach, but to tune, to tune the pupil so that he may become the instrument of God. For the mystical teacher is not the player of the instrument; he is the tuner. When he has tuned it, he gives it into the hands of the Player whose instrument it is to play. The duty of the mystical teacher is his service as a tuner."

"Dispute with a spiritual teacher is never any good, for the pupil may be speaking one language, while the teacher speaks another; and when there is no common language, then how can the dispute be profitable? Therefore, in the path of mysticism, there is no dispute."
...continue reading

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There is much more to this chapter written by Hazrat Inayat Khan, in which he discusses the valuation, respect and attitude necessary in the student for a viable relationship with his/her spiritual guide.  No teacher will carry a false student for very long. It is better to ask the student to leave.

False students are thieves, they steal energy, time and more from the teacher and other students and muck up the atmosphere; slowing and sometimes even stopping growth for everyone. Their selfishness affects the Whole world in ways they cannot fathom. 


BE Real
BE Peacable
BE Loving
BEhave
BE

Drawing of King Snake sleeping by the oak tree where he is captured - from "Lalo the Snake Catcher" 

'However great the teacher be, she is helpless with the one whose heart is closed.' ~ Unknown


Open your Heart
BE LOVE
BE

TOO MUCH TALKING

There's a whole lot of talking going on.
Too  much talking.
They say yes, they say no.

Others concur,
They disagree.

Hugging
Fighting
Hugging
 
Yes, no, yes, no... maybe.

Bargaining.

A whole lot of talking,
In head brains,
In heart brains.
Too much talking.

Does anyone really hear anything?
Do you know what is really meant?

No...

Filters, filters, everywhere,
Nothing is under~stood.

Filters in the brains,
Filters on the Heart,

Brains on automatic pilot.

Can you hear your cells
Whispering deeper down?
There are the roots of desire.

Do you know how to listen?

Somewhere in those unseen places,
In that deep darkness,
Lives the truth of who you were,
Who you really are,

Who you can be.

There, lie the real gems and secrets,
The treasures you yearn for.

If only you could Hear
In purer states of being,
In true honesty.

Perhaps a wiggling free
From the

Ordinary
Mundane
Hamster wheel
existence

You mistake for living

Could begin,

Opening doors to

Freedom from that deadening mechanicality.

If only...


BE at Peace
BE PEACE
BE