Article in the NY Times by Dr. Paulette Koufman Sherman
" So What is Love?
Here is my general conception of love: It’s
a warm feeling based upon knowing and accepting someone. This
relationship often involves mutual learning, caring and growth. Also,
when you love someone you generally want them to be happy.
The dictionary.com definition of love had a few versions:
-a profoundly tender passionate affection for another person
-a sexual passion or desire
-a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection
Which could lead to another question (and article): Is love a concept, feeling or action?
Here is a list of some different
kinds of love that we hear mentioned. These are not dictionary
definitions; I 've defined them with stream-of-conscious
associations. This will give you an opportunity to think about each kind
of love and offer your definitions as well.
15 Different Kinds of Love:
Infatuation- loving
feelings towards a love object that are largely based upon fantasy and
idealization (instead of experience). Often when partners get to know
each other, infatuation diminishes.
Romantic Love- An abiding love for a partner with whom you feel passion, attraction, caring and respect.
Eros- a passionate love usually involving sexual feelings for a love interest.
Companionate Love- feelings of warmth towards a friend with whom you love to spend time
Unconditional Love- A type of affection and caring that is so strong that you feel it consistently, regardless of what that other person does
Conditional Love- A love that requires specific action or conditions
in order to be maintained. For example, at its extreme, a parent who
gives very conditional love would only love his child when he gets
straight A’s, becomes a surgeon and has two children. The love is based
on outside conditions and when they do not occur, the love is withdrawn.
Puppy Love- A childish, innocent temporary crush on someone that you don’t know well.
Maternal Love- This term
usually connotes love that is nurturing, accepting and protective. In
actuality this love can also be given by a father etc.
Paternal Love- This term
connotes love that involves guidance and some authority. Paternal love
usually prepares a child to be ready for the outside world. Again, in
reality this type of love is not gender specific.
Soulmate Love- This type of love is described as a love that has survived multiple life times. Not everyone believes in this concept.
Spiritual/Divine Love- This type of love recognizes the Divine light in everyone and everything. Love is given to everyone as an act of loving God.
Love of your country or patriotism- This
is love for the place you live or the place that were born. It is a
type of loyalty and a special feeling of belonging that you attribute to
that specific geographic location.
Self-Love- This is a
positive feeling that you have about who you are and what you
deserve. It often is expressed by treating yourself well, respecting
yourself, wanting yourself to be happy and expecting others to respect
you too.
Brotherly Love- This term
connotes having a feeling of love for your neighbor, because all
humanity is considered to be part of a larger family of human beings.
Tough Love- This term is
used to describe a love that is expressed by setting boundaries for the
good of the other person. So for example, a parent may send their
teenager to rehab if he is drug addicted, even if he does not want to
go. They feel that this is an act of love because it stems from a desire
for their son’s ultimate good and happiness.
Which Types of Love Have You Experienced?"
