Disengaging from a Manipulative Person's Toxic Behavior Toward Us

The following videos are discussions about “personality disorders”. I have posted them here for the purpose of sharing information about personality types. Do not become identified with and allow yourself to be taken by what you see and hear. Many personality types share many of the same manifestations and habitual ways of being. If what is shared touches a nerve, or starts associations in you, remain centered in yourself. Become aware of your breathing and the soles of the feet on the ground to help you to remain focused while watching and listening. ;-) L.

Ross Rosenberg, author and codependency expert, discusses a technique he developed that empowers and assists recovering codependents with their struggles with their narcissistic loved ones. This is a revolutionary technique that will help anyone disconnect from an emotionally manipulative person's (an addict or pathological narcissist) attempts to bring them into their world of chaos and drama. As George Bernard Shaw once said, "I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it." This video will help the recovering codependent to not "wrestle" with their manipulative narcissist. Ross is the author of: the Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us

False Modesty

Sam Vaknin: Author: Malignant Self Love
Mr. Vaknin is a self professed narcissist who candidly shares a great deal of information about being a narcissist.  
These videos are here for the purpose of gathering information about personality types. Do not become identified with and allow yourself to be taken by what you see and hear. Many personality types share many of the same manifestations and habitual ways of being. If what he shares touches a nerve stay focused and remain centered in yourself. Remain aware of breathing to help while watching and listening. ;-)  L.

The Discontinuous Narcissist

The following videos are discussions about “personality disorders”. I have posted them here for the purpose of sharing information about personality types. Do not become identified with and allow yourself to be taken by what you see and hear. Many personality types share many of the same manifestations and habitual ways of being. If what is shared touches a nerve, or starts associations in you, remain centered in yourself. Become aware of your breathing and the soles of the feet on the ground to help you to remain focused while watching and listening. ;-) L.

Sam Vaknin: narcissist, author: Malignant Self Love

The Compulsive Giver

“Every man has a certain feature in his character which is central. It is like an axle round which all his ‘false personality’ revolves. Every man’s personal work must consist in struggling against this chief fault.” – George Gurdjieff (as quoted by Peter Ouspensky, In Search of the Miraculous, p.233)

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Disclaimer:  Mr Vaknin is not associated with nor recommended as an authority by the myself or =, as far I I am aware, by any Gurdjieff group.

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"Some narcissists are ostentatiously generous -- they donate to charity, lavish gifts on their closest, abundantly provide for their nearest and dearest, and, in general, are open-handed and unstintingly benevolent. How can this be reconciled with the pronounced lack of empathy and with the pernicious self-preoccupation that is so typical of narcissists? The act of giving enhances the narcissist's sense of omnipotence, his fantastic grandiosity, and the contempt he holds for others. It is easy to feel superior to the supplicating recipients of one's largesse. Narcissistic altruism is about exerting control and maintaining it by fostering dependence in the beneficiaries. (From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin)

BE

Know yourself

***
Remember yourself, Always & Everywhere ~ G.I. Gurdjieff

*
BE

Listening

Sensing body

Breathing In

Listening

Sensing body

Breathing out

Listening

Sensing body

Listening
Letting Go

Sensing body

Listening

Sensing body

Repeat Repeat Repeat

~ L.L. 2012

Breath

Study the areas of the brain.

Read ISOM re influences - all parts

Continue relaxation of muscles around any pain experienced

Continue listening and modulating vocal tones -

Observe when there is real empathy or compassion when interacting with others and when there is not. When there is not, what is there? (Note observations in journal without analysis or speculation, bring to next session.)

Observe how you breathe, changing nothing

LISTEN, sensing your body at the same time, and as you:

BREATHE IN, Check for locations of tensions  

note the stop
BREATHE OUT, RELAXING TENSIONS

note the stop

all the while listening,

moving, walking, talking, living

LISTENING

Resistance to Waking (Re-post from 2010.6)

I had a conversation with someone very new to the work about resistance to sitting and to doing the tasks. Hopefully the following post from 2010, June will help.


"Question:  http://ajourneymanswayhome.blogspot.com/2010/06/resistence.html"

Comment:
 "So, who (which part or "i") wakes up prior to the part of you that appreciates Qi Gong? "It likes, it doesn't like." as G said, eh? So, which "i" wakes up, unaware that another part of you likes Qi Gong and appreciates how it helps the total Being?"

"I wonder [must see] who [what part of self] is awake first in the  [morning] when I become aware of my own being as I wake from deep sleep and the rest of me begins to catch up. Who is it that resists and does not want to proceed into the next moments? Just then, in those first moments of becoming aware of self awakening, there is a small space in time to watch those first "i's" gather and and to hear their individual songs (stories). I have the opportunity to objectively observe them "waking" up in their sleep, already talking, complaining, etc. ..."

We can apply this question at any moment we begin to awaken a bit from illusion or daydreams, etc. We can be curious about what is really going on in those moments. That kind of curiosity, [that of the 'watcher' or 'observer'] - allows me to silently, without the 'head brain' [picking away at or analyzing or judging what it sees], gather more information about my little devils - those illusive little "i's".



Be Observing
Be Peace
BE

Energy Healing, Self Observation & Sensation

"We're beginning now to understand things that we know in our hearts are true but we could never measure. As we get better at understanding how little we know about the body, we begin to realize that the next big frontier in medicine is energy medicine. It's not the mechanistic part of the joints moving. It's not the chemistry of our body. It's understanding for the first time how energy influences how we feel." ~ Dr. Oz 

Although I am not a big fan of Dr. Oz's TV show, he does, occasionally have some interesting medical information to share. In this case it is what many in the "new age", alternative medical movement have been espousing ever since I can remember - beginning perhaps with Edgar Cayce and early Christian Science groups. The statement he makes above is true. It can be verified by self observation and sensation. If you are interested in inner being, higher consciousness and the links between mind-body and health, make efforts to observe the connection. What you see will help you to be healthier human Beings.

Are You Aware of Yourself In Movement?

Gurdjieff Movements demonstration, NY 1924

It was often noted that Gurdjieff moved like a cat. What was the significance of this observation? Can we know it in ourselves? 

Every day, from the moment we rise from bed to the moment we close our eyes to go to sleep we are in movement ~ and we are in movement in our sleep ~ internally and externally.

Do we know this every moment of every day ~ are we aware of ourselves like cats are? 

Artwork: "The Evolution Series ~ 2008"

In all there are 41 pieces in this series of drawings of individual and collective octaves.

The series evolved as I intentionally tried to remain aware of each movement of the hand and practiced self observation for a designated period of time or during lulls in business each day while working as a receptionist in a very busy engineering office for several months. I was wishing to be consciously aware of self as a living breathing organism as much as possible and not be taken by the outer ebb and flow of the energy in the office.

I have been posting one drawing each week on the weekly work page. So far I have posted three. Each is a direct result of my experiences of the day it was drawn. If you sense yourself in time and space as your eyes try to follow the continuous lines without losing contact with yourself, you may be able to hear the story of each octave - not my story - but your own.

... to be continued

"Permanent truth and permanent falsehood can exist only for a permanent man" ~ G.I. Gurdjieff

"Permanent truth and permanent falsehood can exist only for a permanent man. If a man himself continually changes, then for him truth and falsehood will also continually change. And if people are all in different states at every given moment, their conceptions of truth must be as varied as their conceptions of good. A man never notices how he begins to regard as true what yesterday he considered as false and vice versa. He does not notice these transitions just as he does not notice the transitions of his own I's one into another."

BUFFERS

ISOM: Ch IV


" 'Buffer' is a term which requires special explanation. We know what buffers on railway carriages are. They are the contrivances which lessen the shock when carriages or trucks strike one another. If there were no buffers the shock of one carriage against another would be very unpleasant and dangerous. Buffers soften the results of these shocks and render them unnoticeable and imperceptible.
"Exactly the same appliances are to be found within man. They are created, not by nature but by man himself, although involuntarily. The cause of their appearance is the existence in man of many contradictions; contradictions of opinions, feelings, sympathies, words, and actions. If a man throughout the whole of his life were to feel all the contradictions that are within him he could not live and act as calmly as he lives and acts now. He would have constant friction, constant unrest. We fail to see how contradictory and hostile the different I's of our personality are to one another. If a man were to feel all these contradictions he would feel what he really is. He would feel that he is mad. It is not pleasant to anyone to feel that he is mad. Moreover, a thought such as this deprives a man of self-confidence, weakens his energy, deprives him of 'self-respect.' Somehow or other he must master this thought or banish it. He must either destroy contradictions or cease to see and to feel them. A man cannot destroy contradictions. But if 'buffers' are created in him he can cease to feel them and he will not feel the impact from the clash of contradictory views, contradictory emotions, contradictory words.


"'Buffers' are created slowly and gradually. Very many 'buffers' are created artificially through 'education.' Others are created under the hypnotic influence of all surrounding life. A man is surrounded by people who live, speak, think, and feel by means of 'buffers.' Imitating them in their opinions, actions, and words, a man involuntarily creates similar 'buffers' in himself. 'Buffers' make a man's life more easy. It is very hard to live without 'buffers.' But they keep man from the possibility of inner development because 'buffers' are made to lessen shocks and it is only shocks that can lead a man out of the state in which he lives, that is, waken him. ..." ~ G.I. Gurdjieff

Watching In Silence

From this different perspective, the echo of my own voice, my own words, my own thoughts and impulses are loud and clear. Something in me watches, listens, records - a silent clinician making note of  what is seen from this perspective. Too much talking about what I see, even to myself, ends the experience. In silence, I gather new information about this me that I have become as my life has progressed without benefit of consciousness and begin to know what I truly am - without the stories.
 Be Silent
Be always watching
BE

Where Fear Cannot Live

ASCENDING, LL 2002

"Fear tingles in me.
Gripping  at my innards like a tap dancing fighter
It wrestles with my emotions and head brain
In the arena of my body.

Creating an anxiety
that spreads throughout my cells like a rash,
Causing an 'unpleasant itching' in my heart
And exaggerated tension in the tummy.

With attention awakened, I stop everything and am very still.
Hmm...
Here's a clue.

A sensation at the back of the head is whispering stories.
I can hear them clearly now,
Whereas before there was only a vague "not feeling so good".

Know the difference in sensations and where they fall in you.
Learn the body's mode of communication well.
The sensations of knowing what is real and and what is true do not live there,
At that spot in the head.
That is the ego's place
Recognizable by it's dull sensation.

Listening sensing carefully, I realize it is that snake, ego
Rummaging around in old files in the 'formatory apparatus',
Reading off the past presenting it as the now
To do it's fear mongering.
The liar is trying to fool me.
That is what is causing  this"fear".
It is trying to fool my sweet heart into total upset.
It is trying to trap my being in it's illusion with it's snaky whispering.

Shh....
More vigilant now, more present...
Shh... quieter still,
I shine the light of Attention on them,
That secretary of the filing cabinets and the sneaky snake.
In the shadows I see
Ego desperately wanting to regain lost ground.
It wants its "throne" back, it wants to "live".

It wants to be Laura.

In the illumination of this revelation
The cellular rash clears instantly.
Tension, that 'itching'  in the heart area
and tummy go away.

Ahhh, I am myself again.
O' Happy day.

Breathing freely.

Peace and Blessings
Peace and Blessings,

Thank you GOD, The All.

Peace and Blessings
Peace and Blessing to You
All eternity long. "


~ L. Lopez 8/11/2010

Observer Watching

From this different perspective, the echo of my own voice, my own words, is loud and clear. Something in me watches, listens, records what is seen in the silence of this perspective. Too much talking about what I see, even to myself, dissipates the experience. In silence, I gather new information about this me that I have become as my life has progressed without benefit of consciousness and begin to know the conscious me that I can be - without the stories.