Nicoll - On Being

Birdlip, June 4, 1942
III - On Being - (continued)

Part I. - "Everyone who has taken up this Work seriously and reflected upon its meaning, by means of that faculty which we all possess but rarely use - namely, thinking for oneself - should eventually be capable of entering consciously into and understanding the position of others. This is a development of being essential for us in the Work. No one can develop alone. [New] relationship is only possible through the contact of inner worlds. We meet through our inner worlds. To understand another you must enter into his inner world, but this is not possible if you have not entered into your own inner world. The first step therefore towards entering into and understanding the position of another is attained through entering into and understanding the position of oneself and unless that step is taken, to as full a degree as possible, there is little or no possibility of entering into and understanding the position of another person. The entry into oneself begins with self observation and the understanding of oneself comes through long self study in the light of this teaching, whose ultimate aim is the gradual but definite transformation of oneself. For this reason merely to think that one is capable of entering into and understanding the position of another person and even giving help, as one is - and this illusion is very common - is to misunderstand entirely the nature of human contact and the universal difficulties that attend this impulse, which so frequently ends in disaster or some sort of compromise, which - as often as not - is the breeding ground of bitterness, mutual criticism, hostility and even worse emotional states and trains of thought. No one as he is mechanically - that is, as formed by life and its influences can enter into and understand another, and from that, give help, unless he already knows from his own self observation, self study and insight, what is in the other person. Only through self knowledge is knowledge of others practically possible. Only by seeing and knowing and understanding what is in yourself can you see, know and understand what is in another person. One of the greatest evils of human relationship is that people make no attempt to enter into another's position but merely criticize one another without any restraint and do not possess any inner check to this mechanical criticism owing to the absence of any insight into themselves and their own glaring crudities, faults and shortcomings. As a result, not only do they not help each other, but the normal balance of things is upset, and by this I mean that an accumulation of wrong or evil psychic material is formed daily in human relationships and, in fact, in everyone's life, which should never exist if people saw themselves simultaneously, and in this way could neutralize the effects of their conduct day by day. This lack of psychological responsibility, both to oneself and to others, is perhaps especially characteristic of modern times and is perhaps the the source of one part of the widespread modern unhappiness that marks the present age, in which, amongst other things, there is a decline in even ordinary human kindness, with a resulting hardness, which is among the most dangerous factors in regard to the future, and which effectually stops all possibility of the right development of the emotional life."

I end here but this whole chapter is worth reading again and again.

Awaken, Be Good, Be Well, Be Happy, Be at Peace - BE