"THERE DO EXIST ENQUIRING MINDS, which long for the truth of the heart, seek it, strive to solve the problems set by life, try to penetrate to the essence of things and phenomena and to penetrate into themselves. If a man reasons and thinks soundly, no matter which path he follows in solving these problems, he must inevitably arrive back at himself, and begin with the solution of the problem of what he is himself and what his place is in the world around him. For without this knowledge, he will have no focal point in his search. Socrates’ words, “Know thyself” remain for all those who seek true knowledge and being."

VIEWS FROM THE REAL WORLD, BY by G.I. Gurdjieff, p 43

28 May 2009

No-thing

Don't worry,
There is Life after this discovery of your nothingness.
Freedom is there -
Just past that trying to crawl back into the tomb of forgetting
Like a frightened stink bug.

Stay where you can be seen.
Freedom is almost yours.
Keep moving forward into the clean fresh air
Of your real Being.

22 May 2009

A Through Z

When a child is learning how to use language you must exercise patience and allow him to go from A through Z to get to B; otherwise he may grow tongue tied.

Insanity Known

You have to be or have been insane to know what insanity is.

21 May 2009

The "Head Brain"

This whirring machine
Wasting precious time and energy
In senseless pursuits of "truths"
In a place where no real truth exists
Beware the false idols that live in the pigeon holes of its illusions
And its bins filled with yellowed pages blurred by time
Stop trying to fit square pegs into round holes
Beware lusting after paste gems that appear to be diamonds and rubies in that dung heap
You are hallucinating
Come out, come back to yourself
Drop the anchor, settle in the body
Bath yourself clean with your own sensations of Living
Give up those ideas and dreams that you are.
Acknowledge the weather and your breath
Stand inside yourself
Open your heart to your own being
Inhabit your body.

l.lopez, 2009

18 May 2009

Friendship

I am thinking about friendship this morning. This topic has been a bear for me most of my life. Raised in an extremely dysfunctional world and able to see a little more clearly than most children, it was clear to me from very early on that people were slippery and squirmy when it came to truth, honesty and sincerity - and I became so too in self defense. I believe many of us do.

So, here we are, all grown up, still grappling with honesty and sincerity in relationships. What is it that makes us fear so much to be honest? Why does being sincere feel so risky? What do we fear we will lose if we do take those risks?

I've learned to take it easy when I get to these fear places in myself. Rather than believing the fear and allowing the immediate reaction to blossom, I stand still inside and wait. I wish to understand what is really happening. My internal team of scientists go into action leaving no stone unturned. I know in doing so more information about that part of myself and what it is afraid of will come - if I am patient and brave enough to look objectively, scientifically.

Sometimes this takes awhile, especially if it is a strong fear. I've been known to go into my cave for weeks until I am sure I am able to more collected and am not taken or identified with the fear. Those little fearful parts like to go into deep hiding. Thankfully, I am familiar with their weight and the sensation of their vibrations. I can find them more easily now than when I knew nothing about myself. I am patient; I follow them and go deep. I relax those parts of the body that have tensed, I listen without being taken by or identified with what I am seeing. I remember an early lesson, "Believe nothing, not even yourself." and I do not buy into what I am hearing from these poor little "i's" (as Gurdjieff called them). I learn what they believe - what their fears are. Usually, when it is a fear that arises in relationships, it is fear of loss, ridicule, being less than, not being liked, not getting what it wants. In reality it is imagination, it is what "it" imagines - because - simply - nothing has actually happened yet.

Sometimes a fear is denial of a knowing - I know something that will change everything and am sitting on it. It gives me a fear tickle as the truth tries to rise and be known and acknowledged. Sitting on this is not healthy - for anyone. Here I have to be brave too. I must let the truth rise and be known, even if it is only meant for me. It is true that "The truth will set you free."

By taking the time to disengage from identification with fear, I become more informed about what is really going on and am able to act appropriately and respond to people and situations rather than react.

I have to laugh. I just remembered a conversation with an old friend who is now in his late forties and has been unsuccessful in the mating arena all of his life. I met him at the Foundation and we have been friends ever since. He became a part of my extended family and we were business associates for many years. After I moved away from NY we began corresponding by email. About a year or so ago he was complaining (again) about not being able to meet women who could just accept him as he is and asked the fatal question, "What is wrong with these women?" Trusting that we loved each other enough that I could be honest with him (he was always brutally honest with me), I decided to finally be so with him on this subject. I hoped it would help him to understand why he had not yet found a mate. I told him what I had observed over the years and what the women (there were many) he knew during that time had said about him. I told him the reasons, without divulging their identities) they confided in me for dropping him - in essence, they were all similar and had to do with his chief feature. He was furious with me. He wrote several emails in return accusing me of making it up and wondering why I would "attack him like that" and so on. In one email he said, "If this is what you have thought of me all these years, then I don't know you and I am ending this friendship now. I will never speak to you again."

I was shocked. After living with this awful development for a short while, I wrote back. (I'm paraphrasing here - I don't remember word for word.) "You can't end our friendship. It is our friendship and if I do not agree that it should be terminated, it cannot be terminated. This is not a good reason to end it anyway, you've got the wrong end of the stick. I love you and remain your friend forever. Regardless of what you think and how you feel at this moment, that is a fact."

I believe that we are all gifts to one another. When you meet and become close with people, they come into your life and you into theirs as special gifts to each other. For myself, it takes a long time to make new friends. The older I get the harder it becomes, however, once I do, it is forever. That doesn't mean I will not disagree with you or get angry at you. I am human. That also does not mean that I am a slave to the relationship. There are people I have not seen or spoken with in years who became toxic for me and I had to stop seeing them so often. This does not mean that I do not love them. Love, unconditional love, transcends everything; all the human crappola we are infested with from birth cannot kill unconditional love. The ego forgets that. If I am not present, the love is forgotten. In a moment of anger one could lose everything. If the ego is in charge one cannot see clearly. This is why I make myself go and stand in a corner until the ego calms down and I have a chance to review the situation.

Be at Peace,
L

09 May 2009

Three Things: Power, Gossip and Intolerance _ Response to a comment

Wiseacrings:

I apologize for the tardiness of my reply to your comment (below) dated 21 April 2009. I watched the film to be sure of my response to you.

You are right, "the story continues", stories always continue, even after the film is over, even after “the end”. …but let’s back up a bit.
I examined the scenes that came after the priest gave the sermon on gossip. Neither nun questioned him about the veracity of the story.

It is also true that we can “weave morality" or anything else to our advantage. I think this and the damage that can be caused by deliberately practicing this form of lying, is the point of this film.

The "Mother Superior" was not attempting anything so unselfish as to help the Parish Priest to see his subjectivity as you think. It is established in the opening scenes that she wants absolute power over this church and had obviously been enjoying it for some time before the new priest arrived. What we are seeing play out is a power struggle. The old nun is intolerant of anything she perceives as being out of step with her personal belief system. She micromanages everyone and at every turn she makes sure to let everyone around her knows who is in charge. She wants everyone to obey her, even the parish priest. In her mind the only aim of all of the subordinate nuns and all the children in their relationship to her is supposed to be to agree with her, or to remain invisible in her sight or out of her hearing range. The parish priest is quite the opposite.

What the young nun actually asks the priest after the Gossip sermon is:
Sr. James: “Was your sermon directed at anyone in particular?”
Priest: "What do you think?”
Sr. James: “Is it true?”
Priest: “What?”
Sr. James: “You know what I’m asking.” (She is referring to the accusations of the older nun)
Priest: “No.”
She questions him further during this scene about the "evidence" she and the older nun gathered. He explains his motives for his behavior with the boy to her satisfaction. She no longer doubts him - at this point. That she believes the Priest then brings on a harangue at her from the "Mothe Superior" during which she attacks Sr. James for being "gullible" and "naive".  After this terrible attack, Sister James doubts her own ability to discern reality from fantasy and doubts not only the priest again when she sees him walking through the hall hugging the boy, but herself.

Thank you for your comments Wiseacrings, 

Peace to you.

07 May 2009

The Curse of Mittavinda Part III

...and so we continue to the last part of this story about Mittavinda

"After seven days on the Indian Ocean, all the winds and currents stopped completely. The ship was stuck!

After being dead in the water for seven days, all on board were terrified they would die. They drew straws to find out who was the cause of their bad luck and frightening misfortune.

Seven times the short straw was drawn by Mittavinda. His shipmates forced him onto a tiny bamboo raft and set him adrift on the open seas. As he floated away they shouted, "Be gone forever! You are nothing but a curse!" And suddenly a strong wind sent the ship on its way.

But once again Mittavinda's life was spared. This was a result of his wholesome actions as a monk, so many lifetimes ago. No matter how long it takes, actions cause results.

Sometimes an action causes more than one result - some pleasant and some unpleasant. It is said there are Asuras who live through these mixed results in an unusual way. Asuras are unfortunate ugly gods. Some of them are lucky enough to know the trick of changing their form into beautiful young dancing girl goddesses. These are called Apsaras. For pleasant results of good past actions, they enjoy the greatest pleasures for seven days, but then for past unpleasant actions, they must go to a hell world and suffer torments as hungry ghosts for seven days. Then they become Apsara goddesses again and go on like this, back and forth, back and forth, until both the negative and positive results of their actions are finished.

While floating on the tiny bamboo raft it just so happened that Mittavinda came to a lovely Glass Palace. There he met four very pretty Apsaras. He enjoyed his time with them filled with heavenly pleasures for seven days then, when it was time for the goddesses to become hungry ghosts again, they said to Mittavinda, "Wait for us just seven short days, and we will return and continue our pleasure."

The Glass Palace and the four Apsaras disappeared, but still Mittavinda had not regained the peace of mind thrown away when he was a village monk so very long ago. Seven days of pleasure had not satisfied him and he would not wait for the lovely goddesses to return. He wanted more and more, so he continued on in the little bamboo raft and lo and behold, he came to a shining Silver Palace, with eight Apsara goddesses living there.

Again he enjoyed seven days of the greatest pleasure. These Apsaras also asked him to wait the next seven days, and disappeared into a hell world. Amazing as it may seem, the greedy Mittavinda went on in his raft to find seven days of pleasure in a sparkling Jewel Palace with 16 Apsaras, but they too disappeared.

He set off in the raft again and found a glowing Golden Palace with 32 of the most beautiful Apsaras of all. He spent seven days there with them, but still was not satisfied! When all 32 asked him to wait seven days, again he departed on the raft.

Before long he came to the entrance of a hell world filled with suffering tortured beings. They were living through the results of their own actions. Mittavinda's desire for more pleasure was so strong that he thought he saw a beautiful city surrounded by a wall with four fabulous gates. He thought, "I will go inside and make myself king!"

When he entered the illusion, he saw that one of the inhabitants of this hell world had a collar around his neck that spun like a wheel, with five sharp blades cutting into his face, head, chest and back. But Mittavinda was still so greedy for pleasure that he could not see the pain right before his eyes. Instead he saw the spinning collar of cutting blades as if it were a lovely lotus blossom and he saw the dripping blood as if it were the red powder of perfumed sandal wood; and the screams of pain from the poor soul sounded like the sweetest of songs!

He said to the poor man, "You've had that lovely lotus crown long enough! Give it to me, for I deserve to wear it now."

The condemned man warned him, "This is a cutting collar, a wheel of blades!"

But Mittavinda said, "You only say that because you don't want to give it up."

The clever soul thought, "At last the results of my past unwholesome deeds must be completed. Like me, this poor fool must be here for striking his mother. I will give him the wheel of pain." So he said, "Since you want it so badly, take the lotus crown!"

With these words the wheel of blades spun off the man's neck and began spinning around the head of Mittavinda. Suddenly all of Mittavinda's illusions disappeared. He saw this was no beautiful city, but a terrible hell world; he knew this was no lotus crown, but a cutting wheel of blades; and he knew he was not a king, but a prisoner. Groaning in pain he cried out desperately, "Take back your wheel! Take back your wheel!" but the other man had disappeared.

Just then the king of the gods arrived for a teaching visit to the hell world. Mittavinda asked him. "Oh king of gods, what have I done to deserve this torment?"

The god replied, "Refusing to listen to the words of monks, you obtained no wisdom, but only money. A thousand gold coins did not satisfy you, nor even 120,000. Blinded by greed, you struck your mother on your way to grabbing greater wealth still. Then the pleasure of four Apsaras in their Glass Palace did not satisfy you. Neither did eight Apsaras in a Silver Palace, nor 16 in a Jewel Palace. Not even the pleasure of 32 lovely goddesses in a Golden Palace was enough for you! Blinded by greed for pleasure you wished to be king. Now, at last, you see your crown is only a wheel of torture and your kingdom is a hell world.

Learn this, Mittavinda - all who follow their greed wherever it leads are left unsatisfied. For it is in the nature of greed to be dissatisfied with what one has, whether a little or a lot. The more obtained, the more desired - until the circle of greed becomes the circle of pain."

Having said this, the god returned to his heaven world home. At the same time the wheel crashed down on Mittavinda. With his head spinning in pain, he found himself adrift on the tiny bamboo raft. Soon he came to an island inhabited by a powerful she-devil who happened to be disguised as a goat. Being hungry, Mittavinda thought nothing of grabbing the goat by a hind leg. The she-devil hiding inside kicked him so hard he flew so far up into the air that when he finally landed, it was in a thorn bush on the outskirts of Benares!

After he untangled himself from the thorns, he saw some goats grazing nearby. He wanted very badly to return to the palaces and the dancing girl Apsaras. Remembering that a goat had kicked him here, he grabbed the leg of one of these goats. He hoped it would kick him back to the island. Instead, this goat only cried out. The shepherds came and captured Mittavinda for trying to steal one of the king's goats. As he was being taken as a prisoner to the king, they passed by the world famous teacher of Benares. Immediately the furure Buddah recognized his student and asked the shepherds, "Where are you taking this man?"


They said, "He is a goat thief! We are taking him to the king for punishment!"

The benevolent teacher said, "Please don't do so. He is one of my students. Release him to me, so he can be a servant in my school."

They agreed and left him there.

The teacher asked Mittavinda, "What has happened to you since you left me?"

Mittavinda told his story of being first respected. and then cursed, by the people of the remote village. He told of getting married and having two children, only to see them killed and eaten by demons in the haunted forest. He told of slapping his mother when he was crazy with the greed for money. He told of being cursed by his shipmates and being cast adrift on a bamboo raft. He told of the four palaces with their beautiful goddesses, and how each time his pleasure ended he was left unsatisfied. He told of the cutting wheel of torture - the reward for the greedy in hell. And he told of his hunger for goat meat that only got him kicked back to Benares without even a bite to eat!

The famous teacher said, "It is clear that your past actions have caused both unpleasant and pleasant results, and that both are eventually completed. But you cannot understand that pleasures always come to an end. Instead, you let them feed your greed for more and more. You are left exhausted and unsatisfied madly grasping at goat legs!

Calm down, my friend and know that trying to hold water in a tight fist, will always leave you thirsty!"

Hearing this, Mittavinda bowed respectfully to the great teacher. He begged to be allowed to follow him as a student. The great teacher welcomed him with open arms.

In peace of mind, there is neither loss nor gain.

04 May 2009

What Am I Learning?

I needed a break from poor Mittavinda, so this story is a bonus intermission.

A long time ago in China most of the families that lived in the small towns and in the countryside were poor. They worked very hard to keep everyone fed and sheltered. In a few places there were monasteries where monks lived. They grew their own food, made their own clothes and were totally self-sufficient. These monks learned philosophy as well as physical disciplines such as martial arts.

The father of a poor farm family who had too many children and not enough grain in the field decided to take one of his boys to a monastery to ask the monks if they would accept him as an apprentice. The father promised that the boy would work very hard and assured them he would obey the monks and work extra hard to repay their kindness through his labor and his contributions. It was not easy to for the monks to accept a child as an apprentice. There were many poor families and only a few children could be chosen. Later on, when the apprentices became monks they were able to help their families. The monks agreed to accept this child and the boy came to stay with them, leaving his family behind in their village.

On his first day the monks gave him a simple robe to wear. The boy then had no other possessions. They immediately put him to work. An old monk instructed the boy, "Take that cauldron over there, fill it with water and place it on that large stone there."

The boy did not understand the purpose but he obeyed. He was a little afraid of what would happen if he didn't. There was no fire in the room so he wasn't sure what the cauldron was for. Then the monk said "Now splash the water out of the cauldron with your hands like this." He showed him how to splash the water out.

This seemed very strange but the boy obeyed. After awhile the stone floor was wet, the cauldron was empty and the child's arms were stiff. At that moment the monk came back and said "Now fill up the cauldron again."

So, three times the first day the boy did this, and three times the next day and three times every day after that. After a month the boy was regretting his father's decision greatly but he was still afraid of disappointing his family and of talking back to the monks. Finally, after three months the boy was offered a chance to go home and visit his family.He was very excited and relieved to be able to spend a few days without the cauldron.

At home everyone was full of questions: "Do you like it?" "Is it hard?" "What did you learn?" "Can you break a board with your hands?". The boy felt uncomfortable because he hadn't really done anything. He had filled the cauldron and emptied the cauldron. That was about it.

He just said, "I haven't really learned anything yet. It's coming."

But still the questioning persisted: "Surely they showed you something, show me one thing." they pleaded.

The boy was getting anxious now, irritated he said: "I learned nothing."

But still, one more time a relative walked into the kitchen where he was sitting and said, "Please, I know you can't tell everyone, but tell me, what did they teach you?"

The boy became so angry that he yelled "I didn't learn anything!" then he jumped up from his chair and slammed his hand down on the thick wooden table, which broke instantly in two.

Only then did he realize what he had learned.

Be at Peace little beans.
Lalo

The Curse of Mittavinda Part II of III

This is Part II. If you have not already done so, please read the post below - Prat I

Little did poor Mittavinda know that his lives of constant hunger were about to come to an end.

After wandering about, he eventually ended up in Benares. At that time the Buddha was living the life of a world famous teacher there, he had many students. As an act of charity, the people of the city supported these poor students with food. They also paid the teacher's fees for teaching them. Somehow Mittavinda wheedled his way in and was permitted to join them and he began studying under the great teacher.

At last he began to eat regularly, but he paid no attention to the teachings of the wise master, instead he was disobedient and violent.

During Mittavinda's 500 lives as a hungry dog, quarreling had become a habit so he constantly got into fist fights with the other students. It became so bad that many of the students quit and the income of the teacher dwindled down to almost nothing. Because of all his fighting, Mittavinda was finally forced to run away from Benares.

He found his way to a small remote village. He lived there as a hard working laborer, married a very poor woman and had two children. It became known that he had studied under the famous teacher of Benares, so the poor villagers selected him to give advice when questions arose. They provided a place for him to live near the entrance to the village and they began following his advice.

But things did not go well there. The village was fined seven times by the King. Seven times their houses were burned and seven times the town pond dried up. They finally realized that all their troubles began when they started taking Mittavinda's advice. So they chased him and his family out of the village. They shouted, 'Be gone forever! You are nothing but a curse!"

While Mittavinda and his family were fleeing, they went through a haunted forest. Demons came out of the shadows and killed and ate his wife and children, but Mittavinda escaped. He made his way to a seaport city. where he found himself to be lonely, miserable and penniless.

It just so happened that a kind and generous wealthy merchant living in the city heard the story of Mittavinda's misfortunes. Since they had no children of their own, he and his wife adopted Mittavinda. For better or worse they treated him exactly as their own son. Mittavinda's new mother and father were very religious. They always tried to do wholesome things, but Mittavinda still had not learned his lesson. He did not accept any religion, so he often did unwholesome things.

Some time after his father's death, Mittavinda's mother decided to try and help him enter the religious life. She said, "There is this world and there is the one to come. If you do bad things, you will suffer painful results in both worlds."

But foolish Mittavinda replied, "I will do whatever I enjoy doing and become happier and happier. There is no point considering whether what I do is wholesome or unwholesome. I don't care about such things!"

On the next full moon holy day, Mittavinda's mother advised him to go to the temple and listen all night long to the wise words of the monks. He said, "I wouldn't waste my time!" So she said, "When you return I will give you a thousand gold coins."

Mittavinda thought that with enough money he could enjoy himself constantly and be happy all the time. So he went to the temple but he sat in a corner where he paid no attention and fell asleep for the night. Early the next morning he went home to collect his reward.

Meanwhile his mother, thinking he would appreciate the wise teachings and would bring the oldest monk home with him, prepared delicious food for the expected guest. When she saw Mittavinda returning alone, she said, "Oh my son, why didn't you ask the senior monk to come home with you for breakfast?"

He said disdainfully, "I did not go to the temple to listen to a monk or to bring him home with me. I went only to get your thousand gold coins!"

His kind mother was disappointed but she said, "Never mind the money. Since there is so much delicious food prepared, just eat and get some rest."

He replied, "Until you give me the money I refuse to eat!"

So she gave him the thousand gold coins. Only then did he gobble up the food until all he could do was fall asleep.

Mittavinda did not think a thousand gold coins were enough for him to constantly enjoy himself. So he used the money to start a business, and before long he became very rich. One day he came home and said, "Mother, I now have 120,000 gold coins, but I am not yet satisfied. I have decided to go abroad on the next ship and make even more money!"

She replied, "Oh my son, why do you want to go abroad? The ocean is dangerous and it is very risky doing business in a strange land. I have 80,000 gold coins right here in the house. That is enough for you. Please don't go, my only son!"

Then she embraced him hoping he would change his mind, but Mittavinda was so filled with greed he pushed his mother away and slapped her face and she fell to the floor. She was so hurt and shocked that she yelled at him, "Be gone forever! You are nothing but a curse!"

Without looking back, Mittavinda rushed to the harbor and set sail on the first departing ship.

To be continued

Peace,
Lalo

03 May 2009

The Curse of Mittavinda Part I of III

"Once upon a time there was a monk who lived in a monastery in a little village. He was very fortunate that the village rich man supported him in the monastery. He never had to worry about the cares of the world. His alms food was always provided automatically by the rich man. So the monk was calm and peaceful in his mind. There was no fear of losing his comfort and his daily food. There was no desire for greater comforts and pleasures of the world. Instead he was free to practice the correct conduct of a monk, always trying to eliminate his faults and do only wholesome deeds.

But he didn't know just how lucky he was.

One day an elder monk arrived in the little village. He had followed the path of Truth until he had become perfect and faultless.

When the rich man met this unknown monk he was very pleased by his gentle manner and his calm attitude. He invited him into his home and gave him food to eat and thought himself very fortunate to hear a short teaching from him. He then invited him to take shelter at the village monastery. He said, "I will visit you there this evening to make sure all is well."

When the perfect monk arrived at the monastery he met the village monk. They greeted each other pleasantly. The village monk asked, "Have you had your lunch today."

The other replied, "Yes, I was given lunch by the supporter of this monastery. He also invited me to take shelter here."

The village monk took him to a room and left him there. The perfect monk passed his time in meditation.

Later that evening the village rich man came. He brought fruit drinks, flowers and lamp oil in honor of the visiting holy man. He asked the village monk, "Where is our guest?" He told him what room he had given him.

The man went to the room, bowed respectfully and greeted the perfect monk. Again, he appreciated hearing the way of Truth as taught by the faultless one. Afterward, as evening approached, he lit the lamps and offered the flowers at the monastery's lovely temple shrine. He invited both monks to lunch at his home the next day and left to return home.

That evening a terrible thing happened. The village monk who had been so contented allowed the poison of jealousy to creep into his mind. He thought, "The village rich man has made it easy for me here. He provides shelter each night and fills my belly once a day. But I am afraid this will change because he respects this new monk so highly. If he remains in this monastery, my supporter may stop caring for me; therefore I must make sure this new monk does not stay."

Thinking in this way the village monk lost his former mental calm. His mind became disturbed due to his jealousy and fear of losing his comfort and his daily food. This led to the added mental pain of resentment against the perfect monk and so, he began plotting and scheming to get rid of him.

Late that night, as was the custom, the monks met together to end the day. The perfect monk spoke in his usual friendly way, but the village monk would not speak to him at all. The wise monk understood that he the village monk was jealous and resentful. He thought, "This monk does not understand my freedom from attachment to families, people and comforts. I am free of any desire to remain here; I am also free of any desire to leave. I pity him for the price he must pay for his ignorance."
He returned to his room and meditated in a high mental state throughout the night.

The next day when it was time to go and collect alms food from the supporter of the monastery, the village monk rang the temple gong by tapping it lightly with his fingernail. Even the birds in the temple courtyard could not hear the tiny sound. Then he went to the visiting monk's room and knocked on the door by tapping lightly with his fingernail. Even the mice in the walls could not hear the silent tapping.

Having done his courteous duty in such a tricky way, he went to the rich man's home. The man bowed respectfully to the monk, took his alms bowl and asked, "Where is the new monk, our visitor?"

The village monk replied, "I have not seen him, I rang the gong and I tapped on his door, but he did not appear. Perhaps he was not used to such rich food as you gave him yesterday. Perhaps he is still asleep busily digesting it, dreaming of his next feast! Perhaps this is the kind of monk who pleases you so much!"

Meanwhile, back at the monastery, the perfect monk awoke. He cleaned himself, put on his robe and then calmly departed to collect alms food wherever he happened to find it.

The rich man fed the village monk the richest food. It was delicious and sweet, made from rice, milk, butter, sugar and honey. When the monk had eaten his fill, the man took his bowl, scrubbed it clean with perfumed water and filled it up again with the same wonderful food. He gave it back to the monk saying, "Honorable monk, our visitor must be worn out from traveling, please take my humble alms food to him."

Saying nothing, the village monk accepted the generous gift for the other. "So, how can I get rid of it?" He wondered.

By now the village monk's mind was trapped by it's own jealous scheming. He thought, "If that other monk eats this fantastic meal, even if I grabbed him by the throat and kicked him out, he would never leave! I must secretly get rid of his alms food, but if I give it to a stranger, it will become known and talked about. If I throw it away in a pond, the butter will float on the surface and be discovered. If I throw it away on the ground crows will come from miles around to feast on it and that too will soon be noticed.

Then he saw a field that had just been burned by farmers to enrich the soil. It was covered with hot glowing coals. So he threw the rich man's generous gift on the coals, the alms food burned up without a trace and with it went the village monk's peace of mind!

When he got back to the monastery he found the visitor had gone. He thought, "This must have been a perfectly wise monk. He must have known I was jealous of losing my favored position. He must have known I resented him and tried to trick him into leaving. I wasted alms food meant for him and all for the sake of keeping my own belly full! I am afraid something terrible will happen to me! What have I done?"

So, afraid of losing his easy daily food, he had thrown away his peace of mind. For the rest of his life the rich man continued to support him, but the village monk's mind was filled with torment and suffering. He felt doomed like a walking, starving zombie.

When he died, his torment continued. He was reborn in a Hell world where he suffered for hundreds of thousands of years.

Finally, there too he died, as all beings must. But the results of his past actions were only partly completed, so he was born as a demon - 500 times! In those 500 lives there was only one day when he got enough to eat, and that was a meal of afterbirth dropped by a deer in a forest.

Then he was born as a starving stray dog another 500 times! For the sake of a full monk's belly in a past life, all these 500 lives were also filled with hunger and quarreling over food. Only a single time did he get enough to eat, and that was a meal of vomit he found in a gutter!

Finally, most of the results of his actions were finished. Only then was he so very fortunate to be reborn as a human being. He was born into the poorest beggar family in the city of Kasi. He was given the name, Mittavinda.

From the moment of his birth, this poor family became even more poor and miserable. After a few years, the pain of hunger became so great that his parents beat him and chased Mittavinda away for good. They shouted, "Be gone forever, you are nothing but a curse!"

Poor Mittavinda. So very long ago he had not known how lucky he was. He was contented as a humble village monk. But he allowed the poison of jealousy to enter his mind - the fear of losing his easy daily food. This led to the self torture of resentment against a perfect monk, and to trickery in denying him one wholesome gift of alms food. And it took a thousand and one lives for the loss of his comfort and daily food to be completed. What he had feared, his own actions had brought to pass.

The Curse of Mittavinda does not end here. to be continued...

Peace